This is nonsense, if anything Draymond has established himself as the mortal enemy of pricks.

still better than candy corn

Tom Brady just had that fan relocated to San Francisco. 

Shut up, Mark

I said, ‘Tristan, we ain’t cut the same’

Ok, I’ll be the one guy. I liked (and still like, caught it on HBO recently) the first one and am actually excited for these sequels.

“Vengeance is mine,” saith the Ford.

One of the things that makes LeBron James awesome is that, when he makes a basket, his baskets are worth two - and sometimes even three! - points. Your analysis fails to take this unique feature of James’ game into account.

The math checks out.

Right? Imagine being that sports-ignorant, yet taking the time to post argumentatively on a sports site.

I don’t know. Where did you come from?

Weird, the name on the ticket said SkyMiles Davis.

That sentence isn’t a question? Are you sure?

If you heard “Yanny” then you were an accident, your parents never wanted you and they certainly don’t love you. The truth hurts.

No doping controls?

As a lawyer (immigration, not criminal), I’ve interacted with many innocent people who pled guilty to things because their attorney advised them not to fight charges, since it would guarantee they didn’t spend any time in jail (which meant they could keep their jobs and suffer a minimum disruption of their lives).

One problem with the way you’re framing this is that you’re likely putting the threat of uncertainty (“and see what happens”) on the wrong option.

You’re also a man who doesn’t understand the American legal system.

Just make sure someone is looking away from the camera