You sir get all the Z-Man sandwiches today.

Both sides get the same permutation. It’s completely even.

MORE CHESS POSTS PLEASE

If this is the beginning of more Chess coverage on Deadspin, I’m here for it.

You must not have been in college between the years 2001-2008

That’s cold-blooded.

Thrilled that my work to convince my coworkers of Duke’s greatness is finally paying off.

Yes. I also frequently visit prisons to tell the inmates they are bad people who do bad things.

Just so I’m clear, you’re positing these people deserve to die?

you’re fun

Cody seems like a dude who is always on the verge of quitting because he’d “like to farm some day.”

They know he’s taking it to the rack every time. Even the slightest thought of playing up on him would allow him to get to the rim even easier. If he gets a 3 point game he would be literally unguardable. Play up? One dribble and he’s in the paint yamming on you. Respect the drive and there’s no way you can recover in…

I know he got blocked here, but tonight was my first night seeing Giannis live in person. Oh my goodness, if this dude doesn’t win an MVP in the next few years I will be incredibly shook. If he learns how to shoot a jimmy, just cancel the rest of the games.

Why are alligators ornery, Jameis?

That’s nothing. During pregame warmups, Newton was heard telling his teammates, “Time to fire up the Hindenburg!”

Don’t worry, like half the commenters here went to law school. It explains why we’re such deeply, deeply damaged people.

I only wish there was an argument over standing...

I feel dirty that I get this joke.

[gunner in your CivPro class furiously masturbates]

People who use custom ring tones are assholes. Just use the factory settings or, better yet, keep it on silent or vibrate. I use the McGyver theme song for mine.