You have a point, but it still makes me happy that she's found a hoomin who's really invested in taking the best possible care of her.

Well, I played 115-pound football, and all I got was a shattered fucking foot from trying to punt that goddamn anvil.

"No matter what browser/device I use, it looks all fucked up."

The song starts with the lyrics "When I was in the third grade I thought that I was gay" and goes on to tell his story and perception of "gayness". So I don't think Macklemore was attempting to make a "gay anthem" or speak for the LGBT community. The fact that the song became a hit and resonated with people speaks to…

For sure! I didn't mean to suggest you were questioning that, I was just agreeing with your assertion.

It's all marketing.

How did no one expect her to have a "finding herself" phase? Everyone does it. Obviously hers is a to the proportion of an attractive, over-indulgent child star, but even that aside, for reals? They started dating when she was like sixteen. People change, almost exponentially at her age.

Penises have never seemed right to me. They just...hang there. Don't get me started on ball sacks. Seems like if the Good Lord were to design a perfect sperm delivery system, it would look a hell of a lot better in God's Own Daylight. Seems like. I should run for some sort of office. 'Cause I have a lot more…

I got pregnant (accidentally!) when I was 23, WAY in debt, borrowing money from my parents all the time, not done school, less than six months after starting to date the dad, and before I or the dad had anything resembling a real job. MBP is right, priorities get straightened the fuck out really quick when that baby…

Nah, my cats also like to "wrestle" my arm. We have slap fights. It's playing, and I'm the one who ends up getting hurt.

YOU'RE a punishment for unprotected sex.

Every time I read roommate stories that involve pets I just get pissed off.

Um, because he's the most obnoxious possible pastiche of obnoxious dudebro culture, packaged to sell the most disgusting possible dudebro food to the most annoying possible dudebro buttholes? Because he represents a cynical marketing cyborg's idea of common-man stupidity? Because his dumb-fuck shows are on the…

Well, for me in particular, I'm a parent, and I do all of my family's cooking, and I'm a writer, which thankfully I can do from home in my underwear on the toilet like I'm doing right now even though, as you may sensibly note, it's kind of weird to wear underwear on the toilet, I mean that's the one place in the house…

I am 99% certain that Joan is Brad's wife, they are super passive-aggressive, and this is an internet version of the type of argument they normally have through their couple friends who can only tolerate them after several glasses of wine.

My wife drank Buckler while pregnant because she craved beer.

"a very cool stunt that I'd like to have documented by a reputable news outlet."

"I'm in my 30's (Between 30-39)"

I like the half-otter man news the best. Otherwise it is breakups, twerking, real estate, babies. So same old same old.

And, in light of the fact that my expectations about women weren't formed by either absurd Japanese dating simulators or cynical virgins on the Internet, the keyword in the original post was "girlfriend". It's funny how much actual sex you have with actual women when you're not afraid of/intimidated by/hostile toward…