The USA doesn’t but Texas does. “Castle Doctrine.” The law doesn’t apply in this case but it would have, had an employee of the dealership shot him.

7:35am. I was a fucking nightmare zombie every single fucking day of the week.

So did you save a convent full of nuns in a past life or are you going to be reincarnated as a dung beetle for your karma deficit?

My hubby and I were just having this conversation this morning. She’s so fucking talented and I respect the hell out of her, so why do I hate her music so much? Or how do I like her if I hate her music so much? We both felt dumbstruck by this concept but I’m getting the sense that it’s actually the general consensus.

Oh Hells Yeah.

Additional requests: Self cleaning diapers, permanent baby tigers, a working holodeck.

Helpful Symptom Guide: Shit’s falling off. Like, a lot.

Yes.

Wait wait wait a minute. Dude committed the massacre the week his sister was supposed to be married??? I feel like I’m beating a dead horse in saying that guys a dick, but damn bro, that’s cold.

I suppose their punishment is that they have to live with themselves and their own cowardly, emotionally undeveloped ways. If they even notice, which is 90% of the problem.

Also the fact that he mentions “archery” as the first camp activity. Priceless.

Texts from my goofy Dad:

I don't know about you guys, but the last time I felt free and safe in America was when there was a Clinton in the White House. My being in elementary school in no way effects my opinion.

Some things cannot be reordered in a timeline, you just soldier on and say, “fuck it.” Mazel tov!

All of this. That's EXACTLY how our shit went down. And we're happy as pigs in shit now but all those dropped hints! Man, they wear on you.

I’m not going to catch any sympathy but here goes: My guy told me a million times he wanted to marry me and we even went ring shopping, got sized, everything. Then nothing, just years of dicking around. So I slowly descended into madness. When I got pregnant, I had a (let’s just say it was hormone-induced) meltdown…

This all day. I’ve been practically kidnapping my friends’ children and forcing them out on dates so we can all start swapping and remembering to have a support system based on teamwork, not cash or family.

I have a huge bust, 34G, with a pretty small frame (I weigh about 130 lb, 5’3”.) Any silhouettes come to mind that help with the top-heavy ladies?

Damn. Crunchy, but I don’t blame you for giving your dad a pass on this one.

No.