I thought I knew that gif and starred it before I saw it play through. Now my heart hurts.

I can still fit in a sink. But the dish washers at Applebee's always call the cops when I do.

I was infinitely grateful that my fiancé fell asleep through 45 of the last 60 minutes of Parks and Rec so I could ugly cry in peace.

I don't have enough internet hugs for you. I would hope that he would have felt like he was going out while he was on top.

There are a lot of stories in this thread. You accidentally stole someone else's wedding cake. This.

I love you, I love your wife, I love your baby and I love your wedding.

Benydryl, energy drinks and mimosas sounds like the absolute perfect combination for wedding day jitters.

I would have flicked him right in the eyeball.

Holy shit.

:[ ] -|-< That is my best attempt emoticon expression for how dropped my jaw is right now. I am so, so sorry.

Heck yeah! I've got one of those! (Kids, I mean.)

I would like to subscribe to your newsletter and, quite possibly, your life.

Welp, no one else got that joke. Have a star.

Dude, my hair stylist left me for Florida and I'm still in mourning. It's been 2 years.

I promise you, that's not the case for me. The unknown food-messing is totally unsatisfying for this ex-server, 20%+ tipper.

That was list was disgusting.

Heard, thank you! I'll let you know if we decide on the mainland.

I love the sofas! This is super cool.

We love history and we love nature. But most of all, we hate people.

Holy crap! I fucking love that your FB peeps are getting side-Saturday Night Social. Just the 2 of us, probably 5 days max. We're fucking clueless. The boy just reminded me that maybe the reason I got stuck on the idea of Hawaii is because we got cozy at a bar called "Lanai" when we first started dating.