The biggest mystery about having sex with Hitler must have been how he kept the severe pube part from getting messed up while wearing tighty whiteys all day.

There's no reality where that can possibly be true.

Let me see if I've got this straight: This novel is about how this guy finds an unconcious chick in an alleyway and, instead of bringing her to a hospital, he decides to nurse his "patient" back to health and finds that he needs to seek out dangerous sexual encounters in order to keep himself from raping her…

I really appreciated the depth and clarity of your statement. However the only thing I want to add is your last lines reminded me that, "If it weren't for my horse, I never would have spent that year in college."

Please come to my house, pet my hair and repeat this to me over and over again until I'm not a basket case. kthnx

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

It's 1:25am, I'm nursing my baby back to sleep and I am slow clapping you, you beautiful bastard.

Jiminy Cricket.

Bless you for Bloom County-ing my morning.

A) My boobs don't look anything like those boobs.

Perennial, obviously. Mayweather can attest to that: http://deadspin.com/the-trouble-wi…

What part of "choosen" didn't you get? Research your players and make sure they're not cocksuckers. And jokes on you asshole, I don't even play fantasy football! Ha ha!

I'd rather lose with a team I respect than win with an (insert your chosen atrocity here.)

Don't be too hasty now.

Ahhhh hahahahaha. Ha ahhhhh......

And so drops the other cleat. Right onto Goodell's stupid fucking face.

Bur-uuur-URn.

Bobblehead Robbie?

Absolutely it's for every domestic violence victim after her. Really wish someone would've sat her down and said, "Listen, it's not even about you at this point. Other than leaving his ass, you couldn't effect the outcome past the point of his fist hitting your face." It blows but that is absolutely your lot when it's…

Welp, these two videos made my morning.