They'd probably only notice if they bothered to count the rings.

No, but your vagina does.

On my way to tha STRIP CLUB. We could have a nice long talk about objectification vs. personal agency but right now I just need you to be happy for me. Ladies... (Tips hat, bows self out)

hahahaha... Butt warts.

Better Headline:

I feel exactly the same. People thrive off James Hate and I'm all, "idunno, plays good ball, seems like a nice fella." You'd think I'd barfed in their cereal then thrown it on their dog that I'd just run over.

ALL of Bieber's money (assuming he's not about to pull a Hammer Time and reveal a mothy wallet) might convince me to let him touch a labia. That teenage girl, sweatyhormonal cash be callin to me.

That's definitely The Bird, isn't it?

Humor helps us process things we have trouble processing. Plus, Deadspin.

If your bodies looked like your balls, what'd your BALLS look like?!?

That's how we got our son. 5 months old now. Hot sex, man, it'll getcha.

That most definitely is the point. I'm not saying your boo's pecker won't grow an inch, but I ain't not saying it neither.

And Rush is the biggest asshole of all.

Never give up. Never surrender.

Don't listen to the haters. YOUR best sexual encounter is yours, not the braggy shit this post requests. I would advise not subjecting yourself to this if it's going to make you feel shitty though.

Submission can be an ownership of your own sexuality, therefore making it domination through your sexual needs being met. I approve.

Ain't no party like a back door party cuz a back door party don't stop.

Awkward train (lady) boner?

It says you're a person who knows how to get down.