The Fiancé and I made a road trip from Austin to San Diego back in '09 when we'd just started dating, toting along a roadside attractions guidebook that had to be at least 10 years old. Whilst traveling through Arizona, I saw a throwaway line about a space-themed hotel in Gila Bend. Having no reason to reject the…

Jesus Christ - I just licked the back of my hand and smelled it. No. Do not make me believe that's what my breath smells like.

Pixelated, one would hope.

I would have put my stiletto through his eye socket.

You're doing the Lord's work.

I would have decked that bitch.

It matters. So many people have shite experiences with their high schools - remembering that high schools are supposed to be there for the educational and psycholgical growth of the children in their care is something to celebrate when done with gusto.

I got a tea strainer, teas and a seemingly industrial back massager. I told the boy full disclosure, I might use it as a vibrator. In other news, my brother's wife has gone completely off the rails and I'm thinking of sending her a letter spelling out how awful she's being and that she doesn't get to treat me like…

See, knowing you don't want kids exempts you from the partying advice. Party if you want to, it's all these regretful parents that have perpetual Peter Pan Syndrome that need a talking to. I'd bet most were at least open to having kids before getting knocked up. The partying advice is just a suggestion to take the…

fuuuuuucking thank you. My advice to people isn't have/don't have kids, it's, "party as hard as you can for as long as you can to get it out of your system so that you know what you want when you're finally sick of all that bullshit." I partied my fucking ass off, I have a kid now and I am not missing the club even a…

Your 12 little likes, I bet they count for double since they were all recommended by fat people, no?

I'm choosing to read "I said something" as "I set fire to his car in public, glorious fashion."

That takes restraint, I would have told motherfucking EVERYONE.

FUCK. JEFF.

I saw it and dismissed it so you wouldn't have that added to your Monday.

To the troll whom I just dismissed for posting a photo of a plate of cooked dog, allegedly from China: I once had a speed dater tell me he'd eaten dog. Is that you? Have our stars crossed yet again for another chance at undying love?

They seem like good doggie parents. I bet the jets in that tub get clogged like a mother-trucker.

Depends how many bags/how many floors to carry them I'd say. 20% does sound high on groceries though. I'd say $3 per bag, minimum $10. I'm pulling this number straight outta my ass though.

I haven't gone all the way to zero but I have gone to 5 or 10% maybe twice in the last decade. 99% of my tips are 20%+ but if you come at me angry that you have to serve me, like I'm a burden on your day, yeah - fuck that.

There's been a few times I've been lured into the cute doggy video trap and it's been this "Life In The Dog House" series. Who's the connection in Jez that's giving repeated love to these guys?