Not exactly. Neither of us live near our family and he was my support person during labor. I only had one visitor in the hospital and I would have liked a rose or something to make me feel appreciated, that's all.

Phrases to live by:
"You won't regret hiring me."
"Once I have a task I have to see it completed."
"I'm always looking for ways to go above the call of duty."
"I enjoy helping accomplish those projects everyone's been meaning to get to but never has."
"My patience is only matched by my tenacity."

I totally forgot I'd need to eat soft foods after my molar was extracted 2 years ago. Lived off Ensure for a while, miserable as fuck. What a shitshow, heal up quick.

So another holiday has passed where my gentleman has skipped the theatrics and bypassed celebrating altogether. It's difficult to sass a guy who's so awesome all the other days of the year but has so much trouble making with the Special Times. I gave birth, nothing. Last birthday he gave me a necklace comped by the…

Katy Perry, evoking the most elusive of female body statuses: Butter Mouth.

He sat down next to me on a couch at a party, stoned, wearing bunny ears.

And I'm sure some poor soul in your town didn't have sympathy for her for "getting herself into that situation." The day our species realizes we're all just animals who occasionally procreate and not these little balls of shame, we'll be a lot better off. I'm sorry you had that experience.

Many women in my family had illegal abortions decades ago. Their horror stories were what fed my rabid fear of pregnancy and abortion throughout my teenage and young adult years. Now that I'm older, in a great relationship and am a new mother, their horror stories feed my rabid desire to be as vocal as possible about…

The statute of limitations for child abuse of any kind shouldn't exist by virtue of how long it can take a survivor to come to terms with and be ready for pressing charges. Seriously, if ever there was a crime that deserved to follow a perp to the grave, this is it.

"Justin Bieber Secretly 'Cried His Eyes Out' After Macho Court Hearing"

Not when the cake has the Bieb's mug shot on it.

As an office management type who spent years fighting my boss on illegal shit he wanted to pull on people, I can say that some people's preset is Asshole. It never ceased to amaze me that the first thought in the higher up's head was how to get away with it, not "what's right for my people."

Be careful with your jubbly-bits, kids. The Lord Jesus doesn't want to hear your prayers for a swift healing of your botched taint shearing.

Great point, I should check netflix for videos. Thank you!!!

It's good to hear some common sense thrown into the normal advice. My fiancée is very not pushy about the sex thing, that's one reason why he's my fiancée (I would LOVE being with a guy that you needed a dr.'s note to keep at bay, wtf.)

Admittedly I had an overly easy pregnancy. I gained very little and only in the stomach. Never felt super, overdone preggers even when I was 4 days overdue before inducing. I am extremely grateful as I know my experience is an anomaly.

The sad part is how much you engage your core when doing even those low-impact exercises. I'll probably start with the hand weights soon though.

It's basically "if you bleed more after exertion, knock it off." Since I've been bleeding pretty sporadically and cramping on and off I'm kinda stuck.

I desperately want to work out but I'm only 3 weeks postpartum. It's obnoxious to feel like you're sitting around doing nothing when you could be doing something - though what I'm really doing is healing. My belly's about as shrunk back as it's going to be without exercise and my v-jay is super bored. I miss sex but…