There is A LOT going on there.

I had actually been wondering about the theory that Vanessa was divorcing him as a legal move to protect their money, etc., but her MIL openly trash talking her resolves that theory.

Also, she’s kind of implying her own fucking grandchildren are this terrible burden.

On the one hand, who cares what Kanye West thinks? But on the other hand, anyone who treats that orange fucker as anything but appalling helps make him ordinary. I think about that “This may not seem ordinary to you now, but after a time it will. It will become ordinary.” Haidmaids Tale quote waaayyyy too much lately.

Be happy you didn’t have to remove all locks because kids kept locking themselves (and the terrified dogs) in the bathroom for shits and giggles...

Ohhhh, I’ve long been intrigued by these bidet attachments. Any recommendations?

Back in our apartment dwelling days my husband bought an industrial shower head, made a few screwdriver adjustments and it was better than some 4 jet fancy showers I’ve been in since. We are also monsters, hot water was included at that place and we got our money’s worth.

1. Promote festival you can’t possibly deliver on. Then instead of fleeing the country, hang around to see how it plays out.

I don’t feel particularly sorry for the wives. It’s not a Lady Di situation where they were inexperienced virgins, not realizing they were marrying an inconsiderate or incompatible partner. While maybe there was a power imbalance between Melania and Trump, both of these ladies knowingly married fully evolved assholes,…

They don’t even look capable of that.

All kidding aside, I’m working under the hypothesis that none of these creeps (the Trumps, that dumb governor of Missouri, the list goes on), know how to have sex properly. Like, they do missionary with their wives and try a mélange of porn watched with the volume off and 10 minutes of 50 Shades of Grey that they saw…

I, for one, am happy to have lived in blissful ignorance of what I’m sure was a bumpy, awkward and self-tanning lotion smeared Trumpian sexual encounter, for the last 5 years.

So, I like Disney well enough, I’m looking forward to taking my kids someday.

Kylie is totally one of those cool moms that laugh indulgently when their kids engage in light property destruction.

Things I have done in Starbucks, as a white woman, without ordering shit:

I WANT TO SEE MEDIEVAL WORLD!

Although I’m loathe to ever have Matt Damon’s phoenixless back, you have to defend your friends. Have I gently mocked my best friend’s sleeve which consists of an owl, a tai chi symbol and her astrological sign? You better believe it. But I will never acknowledge how hideous it is with an outsider.

This story is the human equivalent of the lion who ate the poacher, but left the head.

This post reads like a Trumpian fever dream. A child was injured by a loaded firearm wielded by his teacher in class and no one, not one person thought taking said child to the hospital or at the very least, calling his fucking parents would maybe be a good idea?