She would have been better off marrying the whole band, Noodle Hair is the least attractive one if you get rid of some soul patches.

Uh-oh, you’ve angered the hippies.

It could have been a repeat of when I kept calling my infant son a bint, because I read it somewhere and thought it sounded cute. I later found out it’s British slang for stupid bitch. Live and learn.

Have avocados overtaken almonds in the trendy to feel guilty eating it stakes?

Well I can't unsee that now.

Republican men don’t think women face obstacles because THEY ARE THE OBSTACLE.

Thank you for saving me from ever using that horrible term.

Did you mean dirt bags? Because I’m intrigued by the term dirt legs as an insult (get up and stop your praying dirt legs!).

A real dickhead....I’ll see myself out.

I’ve never seen anyone who looks more like they reproduce via spores than Rick Scott.

That was 100% written by a lawyer, a publicist or both.

WE ARE WASTING TIME AND RESOURCES TALKING ABOUT THIS BECAUSE YOU LIED AND IT’S HILARIOUS!

He was able to handle Imelda freaking Marcos and Trump was too much for him. Ha!

Between Thrones characters casually prancing around and shirtless Trudeau popping up everywhere it's been an amazing summer in Canada!

She really put a genuine effort into finding someone worse than Nickleback.

I think Hot Topic deals exclusively in Suicide Squad merch now.

And he’s given mothers everywhere a powerful teaching tool: Don’t lie to your mommy or you could cause an international incident.

Dress Barn.

HE’S PERFECT AS HE IS. The man died, show some respect.

My 5"8 best friend has still not forgiven me for revealing Jon Snow’s lack of stature.