Celebrity Edition!

In Canada, when someone needs a helicopter rescue from the water or ice, it is determined whether the rescue was "unnecessary" meaning that the person should not have been there in the first place, and if that is determined, they send you the bill. Same thing should happen here. I'm not talking about dissuading people…

She should have to pay for all of the wasted PPE at bare minimum.

I'm torn, because on the one hand, ehhh I'm not going to be too judgy about someone doing some drugs.

The military does not fuck around when it comes to drug offenses. I wish they would have the stones to apply a similar zero tolerance policy when it comes to sexual assault.

Now I have to tell the story of the time I took advantage of being home alone when I was 11 to belt "I Dreamed a Dream" in my bedroom. When I got to the big note, "So different now from what it seeeeeeeeemed!" my cat ran into my room and bit her way up my arm before sinking her teeth into my neck, vampire style, to…

"Hell Motherfucker Yeah" (subtitle: I'd Read That Shit) sounds like an excellent name for a women's mag.

A $1 pan scraper. I hate steel wool, and scrubbies don't always get into corners.

have my wedding in the hogwarts great hall. OH OR A PRETTY OUTDOORSY ONE IN HOBBITON!!!!

i would have a lovely small wedding at my mom's house in maine and then roll around on all the money left over while cackling wildly.

That man is going to get murdered in his sleep. The police will have no idea who did it. The cats will never pay for their crime.

For women: a one-ply wool or cashmere scarf in a complementary color(s) to your wardrobe. Just like a towel in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, it's tremendously useful all-year-round:

As long as they're not drinking vaccines, their babies will be fine.

I kinda dig it. I like that SJP takes risks. I get a very bad ass Eleanor of Aquitaine vibe from it.

Nope...we don't use Paper Towels or Paper Napkins.

This is something to just GET RID OF....here is the paper towel replacement...I call it a "towel":

Hate the beer. Love the fact that all the Clydesdales were like, "The FUCK, dude with douchey sunglasses. You are not taking Cornelius' friend anywhere. So just stop that car and GIVE US BACK THE LAB."

It was a lie, anyway.

Yep. Big Foot does not know this just yet but next week ol' Mom will be at her school as the special guest lecturer in her sex ed class. Topic? Rape culture/consent etc. I felt the need to bring it up because Big Foot came home from school and mentioned that the boys on her bus are practicing their "rape faces". I…

I think adding breasts with lumpectomy and axilla scars, reconstructed breasts and non-reconstructed mastectomies would help destigmatize those us who cop'd a feel and/or imaged and found something.