Though I also suspect in this case the hamster died of natural causes and the shit parents just told the child that it ran away to a better land, or some such shit. But I'm a bit of a cynic.

You are VERY RIGHT...but what if the Internet strangers know about the lost hamster?

I thought that was implicit in my request.

This feels like a good place to share a story about high school me (though it is only semi-related to your post). In the cafeteria one day they had a huge board that we could sign promising we would “save ourselves for marriage,” and we got a free pen if we signed. I was all for signing up, but they were out of free…

Love.

I love you for this...and I’ll take protecting your character seriously. Will you go to prom with me?

I just don’t want you spending all your money getting her all glittered up for Easter.

“Love dipping our #crap in our other #shit?”—Yes, godammit, I do. Specifically, I love dipping the angus three cheese and bacon in their horsey sauce (which I also like dipping their curly fries in, because horsey sauce is not just “#shit” it is THE SHIT). I’m disgusting.

But “conservative” isn’t a political party.

What is your stand on cat pics? Selfies with cats? Me and my cats look really cute in selfies!

I know I am throwing myself into the line of fire here, but...I firmly believe that women should have the legal right to make the choices they need to make regarding their own bodies, I think the rhetoric of “murder” around abortions is disgusting and dumb, I understand that having an abortion is the right choice for…

Obligatory holy shit that woman is stunning post. Holy. Shit.

YESSSSSSSSS!!!!!

Especially given that Taylor released her first album/became famous at roughly the same age that Lorde did. Transitioning into adulthood while very much in the public eye has to be tough, so I think it is great that TayTay (sorry, I hate myself) can be a friend/mentor through that process. Haters gonna hate hate hate…

I respect the hell out of the BJ Novak quote. If I want to pay for shit, I'll get a Diet Coke. Athankyou.

There was no "whether or not Stonestreet was joking or not"—this is a joke, not a story. Sheesh.

Side note: I read "physics" as "psychics" and was confused and captivated. I read for a living. I'm the worst.

I wave to myself in the mirror like I'm walking out in front of an audience on a talk show. It's hella embarrassing when you accidentally do it at your parents house with people around.

It would have been amazing!!!!!!

Julie Andrews is a goddess, that story made me cry, and I would love to find a love like that.