I kinda love that cake...

IT WAS HOLLISTER AND THAT PINK HAIR WAS COOL

What is called then when I constantly post about how many Netflix marathons I managed to squeeze in during the weekend while also not showering/removing my sweatpants? Anti-bragging? Non-boasting? Or as I call it, “living the fucking dream, baby!!!”

Sadly, I’m incapable of humblebragging. Yet another curse of being so awesome.

Yeah. They are the littluns who are gay. They’re in a gloriously nascent period of not having to be closeted or out, just...them, proudly. It’s fucking awesome.

Still dealing with the clot and ugh, it sucks so bad. I was hoping the pain would let up some by now. The swelling in my thigh is going down some, so the skin isn’t feeling as tight, but it is still throbbing and the skin is still really hot to the touch. And I can’t take more than ten steps without wanting to cry.

“Look at my teeth that are made out of my lips! Suck it, teeth-made-out-of-teeth jerks!”

I guess the kids don’t do that anymore? Like, they’re not radical like we were. No neon-pink elbow pads, no hypercolor shirts, no gnarly tricks. Just tattoos, babies and ill-fitting bathing suits, apparently. Everyone always says the kids should get off their Nintendos and go outside, but they try to go to the beach…

I... may have had some wine while completing this one.

Chest hair net

I don’t necessarily want to see men objectified, but I do look forward to misogynists who are totally pro-Hooters bitching about unrealistic standards and getting a taste of their own medicine when their girlfriends want to go here and they feel insecure.

Galaxy Quest is coming to television.

Depends on how much you smoke. As an everyday smoker I can stretch an ounce out to about a month. I know people who smoke an eighth of an ounce (3.5 grams) a day, so an ounce lasts them about a week and a half. It all depends on your tolerance/intake I guess. I’m sure someone who smokes one day out of the week could…

It’s not shake.

For the rare moments where I actually buy a bit of weed, I have a lipstick tube that's actually a pipe in disguise. Which I think is extremely fancy. I could even draw a Gucci logo on it. *designer*

For a mere $5,000.00 I will light your expensive weed for you, inhale it, blow it into a hand crafted gold leafed crystal chalice, and deliver it to your door. When you get the munchies I will also eat snack foods in front of you for the low price of $350.00

Don’t worry gay men Crow T Robot is here with a brand new line of Italian sunglasses for men.

So basically, if your day was just going a little TOO well

Also when everything you claim to be better at is something you think is superior anyway. Shit with cars and chess (since chess skill is seen as possessing high intellect), being a leader, etc etc. They also give women ‘compliments’ about our emotional intelligence. It’s like saying...

I don’t think there is a word in the English language to describe my opinion of Nick Loeb.