That kid is a very good sport!

Sooooooo, whatcha thinkin' bout?

A very important reminder that the (future) top doctor in our nation once made me pose with her blow-up doll on top of me. Would go back if covered by Kaiser.

Netflix makes me laugh and never asks to hit the bowl, but never judges when I do.

Who wants to samba to Poor Unfortunate Souls?

Hercules kind of looks like he should be hanging out at coachella, tbqh

Oh my God, I think we used to work somewhere for the same manager. Our general manager was a raging asshole in several ways you describe and never stood up to customers EVER, but his defining moment was when he came up behind me, grabbed the bottom of my shirt, and yanked it up above my breasts. His defense? HE didn't…

This is like a poem.

As an ostrich in a baseball cap, I take offense.

Is this like a press conference? "The ppeople deserve the truth, Mr. Pinkham!"

"I did not have sex with that restaurant."

"I probably ended that marriage."

And the guy probably still thanks God you did every Sunday.

Fuck me, I love that Australia episode. “I SEE YOU’VE PLAYED KNIFEY-SPOONY BEFORE!”, “Cof-fee” “Be-er”, “I’m impressed he could write so legibly on his own butt.” Just classic.

Shrumpshordshrampshireberrywood on toast

A+ photobomb, random guy!

Let's make more

Lindsay doesn’t want Dina in England, partly because she feels her mom is a bad influence

So, I have been out of the hospital since Tuesday. They put me on Xarelto so I don’t have to do six months of Lovenox shots for the clot. Unfortunately, there is no antidote for the drug, so if I get a bleed by hitting my head or something, I am likely fucked. I can’t have a filter because of my Ehlers-Danlos, since…

Not necessarily, in every case. Sometimes, due to dysfunctional family dynamics, often borne of multi-generational histories of childhood sexual abuse, parents DON’T protect their daughters. I know. I am one of them.

Seriously, at a size 18 I don't think they would let me in the door.

Same story, different party. I was in college at a friend’s engagement party, slow dancing with a good friend who I intermittently slept with and had a tiny, silent but DREADFUL, eye-watering fart slip out. I knew it was gonna be deadly but thought I could “dance” us a few feet away to avoid the worst of it.…