If I ever have a daughter, I would want to know that she can kill for domination, control, and humiliation if that's what she chooses.

The immaturity of it is, frankly, awesome.

Your gif collection truly brings light to my days.

Uh, it's spelled "Epique Shitshough" because Hipsters. Jeez X, get it right.

At this point, American Apparel isn't throwing them under the bus. American Apparel is the bus.

I like the way you think friend. Maybe he, his wife, & the disgusting pedophile they saw fit to give their adopted children to can be arranged in a human centipede kinda way?

I'n glad she offered to take him up on it. There's nothing better than ruining a smug troll's evening. I know when a man is trying to shock me, and there is nothing more delightful than seeing his expression when he realizes how much he failed. That said, she could have been serious, but that ruins nothing in this…

I can't play any instruments, but I volunteer to stand off to one side gyrating and occasionally yelling, "STEELY DAN!"

It's linked in the intro but I didn't want to include the full thing in a post entitled "When Wedding Invitations Turn Into A Hilarious Disaster" for what are probably obvious reasons when you look at it that way :)

When I was a junior, I had two male roommates, and was SUPER depressed. One day, when I'd been on a fairly long crying jag, my sweet, awkward roommate walks up to me, deposits some chocolate in my lap, says "please don't be sad" and runs off. Sometimes the sweetest guys just cannot handle dealing with feelings.

Weird. I just finished reading Jodi Picoult's Leaving Time, which is about a woman who ran a rescue sanctuary for elephants that had been mistreated in circuses.

This took me forever, because every phrase I thought of had the word "penis" in it, and...I did want to avoid that.

nooooo I did not feel like crying this early in the morning I haven't finished my coffee yettt

what

So we can actually eat tuna flambe with no chance of mosquitos? I'm down with this.

We're all full of fire retardant and pesticides anyway, so who gives a shit?

My old maid status is looking more and more advantageous every day.

i may just be a trollop, but if a dude trekked out to shovel my car out of the snow, I would totally get hot and bothered and want to "show my appreciation", nudge nudge wink wink. But manual labor is a totally turn on for me. Do the dishes, vacuum, mow the lawn? Yeah baby.

He's a troll. Made his account today to troll Jezebel. Using his stupidly ironic name given the nature of the laws trying to be passed are extremely Orwellian.