I like to imagine that dolphlundgren420 has never in his/her life sent an email with any body text. 

It’s only a Hail Mary if the play you’ve selected is “Da Bomb.”

“Same.”

Red Sox are red

CC Sylvplathia

It’s easy to go clubbing all night when you are very much woke.

What was I doing in your office bathroom mirror?

Through some weird as hell combination of disliking Drake, liking Steph and Klay, and disliking Kevin Durant, I find myself rooting for the Warriors for the first time (excepting when they play Houston) in years. I want them to win without Durant so that he has to see them win without him (again), and because the way…

Based on the recent murders of Embiid and Giannis, he seems to be targeting very tall black men who are incredibly skilled and athletic for their size. Might be safer for Kevin Durant to just sit this series out and start packing for NY.

Minor league catchers must be worse at framing than the pros, because some of those pitches looked really bad.

He might want to freeze some semen before game 2, because Draymond and his foot are coming for his fertility.

Brooks Koepka won his fourth major last week, and while I’m sure he’s a swell guy, he looks like the Big Ben of golf

Cal was and remains a serial signer

“I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.”

I hope you get pooped on next.

Don’t tread on me.

I’m sure the Arizona Cardinals will be offering him a position any day now.

Man’s twitter account shows him to be a trump supporter so...

Jealousy is an ugly color on you.

Also the creepy uncle.