And then we can hop over to the food bank to drop off those 5 year-old cans of knockoff beans and huitlacoche that we bought in a drunken stupor.

I heard you put them on your head and blow them up.

That's horrible. A few years ago there was a chef guy who bragged on facebook about slipping gluten-containing items into the food of customs who requested gluten-free and feeling smug when they didn't have an immediate reaction. Being mildly inconvenienced justifies putting someone's health in danger or ruining their…

The most authentic food is lentils. Organic, fair-trade, pesticide-free lentils grown under the moonlight by fairies.

It's me, I'm the new Madonna.

You might like this one: http://www.bravissimo.com/products/lingerie/sensational-sets/alana-bra/fuchsia/au01fu/?show=16&sort=1&level=3 :)

It's not really that big of a difference. A B is a 1 inch difference difference between underbust and bust, an E is 5. In terms of volume a 32B is 310 cc whereas a 28 E is 390 cc. A 34 B would actually have the same volume as a 28E, it just wouldn't encase all the breast tissue in the cups and the band would be far…

I almost thought she had done some controversial routine to her show where she pretends to be a nipple-flashing hurricane named Sandy or something.

It's similar to when you share an anecdote and someone has to butt in with "If it were me I would have" or some other "helpful" advice. It wasn't you, you weren't there, and it's already done so shut uuuuuuup.

Once my school newspaper published an article by a dude about how women who wore yoga pants were sooo unoriginal and slutty and no man would ever love them!!!!111!!!1!. At least they had the good sense not to include it in their online archive.

Trustin Judeau is a Canadian politician by day, crime-fighting superhero by night.

Plus leaving them with mom all day doesn't guarantee they'll be out of danger. Like parents never injure or kill their kids.

Empathy is apparently a finite resource.

He was trying to tell everyone about their new line of mixers but then his fingers slipped and whoopsy-daisy, an obama joke appeared!

I care so much about people smoking that I stare at them and make exaggerated coughing noises. It really inspires them to quit.

I think it's pretty normal considering she weighed 338 lbs at first. Even if she didn't exercise at first, calorie counting alone could have resulted in quite a bit of weight loss, well over 2lbs/week.

Daddy and Jason Trawick are going to make her keep performing until they can't get any more money out of her, I bet.

Don't you know? Laws against harassment don't apply to porn stars. It's because of something something.

TAKE HER TO THE CLEANERS!!1!!!!!!1111111!

This and "why are you so sensitive?"