(Bryce Harper signed to long-term deal by Phillies) (rest of players, Phillies management, and stadium employees sold off for medical experiments)

The police waste all their time on things like this, meanwhile the Tunnel Snakes are still running wild, terrorizing the public with their aggressive and provocative dance moves.

Cutting it close with that, eh?

I have this crazy new game called “turbotax” that looks like SO MUCH FUN

Sounds more like a platoon family than a backup family.

I was with you 100% till the 4th word of your second paragraph. After that I just confused.

Potaders! Just whip baby!

Is my good dog good?

I mean... maybe just have a hard look at your life choices...?

No surprise here. Revis had someone else cover for him.

Somebody was listening to Chris Carter.

How stupid are people? LOL, have you not been following people the past two thousand years?

If someone does something horrible and then does their fair time and demonstrates an awareness of what they did wrong and doesn’t reoffend then obviously they shouldn’t be treated like a monster forever.

Unfortunately exactly none of that applies to Mixon because he didn’t even make it all the way to his trivial slap…

I heard Mike Zimmer wanted to convert him to fullback, but he was completely against the switch.

#4 on the white team is a straight up assassin.

This is 4 billion times more exciting than any Thursday Night Football game

Super Mario World or Unreal Tournament.

For a guy without a working finger, he seems easily triggered.

Hopefully on March 3rd, all the bitterness and jealousy will be gone and we can just enjoy the Switch. If not, we’ll see you next February at next years Super Bowl. Being a huge Nintendo fan, I thank them for their Switching. ;) Being a huge Patriots fan, I thank TB12 and the team for being amazing as always.

By cheating do you mean that time the team recorded video from a perfectly legal location and that time the laws of physics worked as they were supposed to?