if enough people sign up today for the jezebel newsletter, does that mean the deadspin staff gets their pizza party?

Scarlett Johansson isn’t actually a lifelike robot?

This guy is prolly so hot irl.

Can we make Jezpin a regular occurrence? Like casual Fridays.

#nightmarefuel

The real life Rudy became a motivational speaker and gave a talk at my all-girls high school in 1994. A gym full of teenage girls cheered RU-DY! RU-DY! as expected and then he just mumbled awkwardly for 30 minutes. And that’s how I ended up on drugs.

As a resident of South Bend, and someone who has met this weasel in real life - I say thank you. Rudy is the worst.

But all of the dipshit ND fans that probably have never even been in the state of Indiana think this movie is a documentary.

One of my favorite memories is when Joe Montana was on the Dan Patrick Show & shit all over this movie. Flat out said that the iconic scene where all the players turned in their jerseys if the coach cut Rudy never happened, and while they did carry him off the field, it was to blatantly make fun of him. Fuck Rudy.

“You know, it’s strange that millennials are always being dubbed as the “everyone gets a trophy” generation when Rudy—fucking RUDY—is considered one of the most inspirational stories to come out of the ’70s.”

The movie is even worse than that because Dan Devine, the bad guy coach in the movie who meanly didn’t want Rudy to play, wasn’t a bad guy at all. In fact, dressing Rudy for the last game because what the hell the little shit wants it so bad was his idea. So not only does the movie Rudy suck because human being Rudy…

I like when a small and slow man does an achievement.

The movie is 100% fiction and propaganda. Fuck Rudy and fuck Notre Dame

I love how a Jezebel writer came here to talk smack about something to get a reaction and rile everyone up, and instead everyone is all like “Yeah, it’s pretty terrible”.

In real life, the scene where the players throw their jerseys on Dan Devine’s desk because Rudy wasn’t gonna get to play never happened. And on the actual “sack” that little shit Rudy was the 3rd man to hit the QB on the play. Of all of Sean Astin’s movies, Goonies and the Lord of the Rings movie are more historically…

Everything about Notre Dame sucks.

My biggest problem is how Jon Favreau’s character goes to law school but comes back less than 1 year later in a limo, sipping champagne, married with a wife in a fur coat. You know, like all first year law students.

This might be the best article on Deadspin in the last 2 years. Can we PLEASE make the staff switch permanent?!

If this was the only article posted today, the jezespin experiment was a success.

It is far worse than you describe.