There are places where the Red Line trains are no more than 6 feet from the left lane of the Dan Ryan Expressway, so it’d be well within the range of a jammer, if your figure is correct. The line bisects the highway, where typically a median would be on most highways.

Must be just the backwards walkin’, then.

Careful, I believe the only true way to enrage a Canadian is to unfairly disparage Tim Horton’s. Or to walk backwards on the right-hand side of the street on a Thursday in August, that’ll piss ’em right off.

You’re not the commenter we deserve, but you’re the one we need.

Little known fact: Everything in and from Canada is full of fish.

Maybe instead of debates, these should be done as a series of job interviews. Assemble a panel of leading liberal and conservative thinkers and do a two-hour special with each candidate. Follow up as needed.

The Red Line in Chicago crosses and runs alongside major highways and streets of Chicago. Not sure what the range of his jammer was, but he could’ve been wreaking havoc all over the city, not just on the train.

I belong to a religion that believes that each letter of each word must be pronounced individually. I just founded this religion, and of course, as the founder, I reserve the right to violate my own tenets as circumstances dictate.

That “h” is there and I intend to use it, gosh dangit!

To her, the child is probably a toy, too. If you make a Venn diagram of people who don’t take guns seriously and people who don’t take parenting seriously, she’s right at the intersection.

Yeah, sure, it was an accident. I see you over there hiding your Olympic javelin medals.

Guns protect from danger the same way magnets protect from illness. Except magnets don’t cause illness.

The Internet exists so you can be horribly inappropriate. Indulge yourself.

Separate the people from the people? Actually that’s not a terrible idea ...

By Jove, you’re right! Give that kid a police uniform and a sidearm.

If we’re very, very lucky, this could be the very last time we ever see the name “Carly Fiorina” in a headline. That is, until she unveils her true raptor form at the GOP convention and flies off with Kim Davis in one set of talons and Erick Erickson in the other to feed her brood in the mountains of Mordor.

I’d like to deny that I ever watched The Cosby Show, but I live in reality, so I can’t.

Yeah, it’s tough, because without polls we’d have to rely on pundits and “experts” to get an idea of how the races are shaping up, and they’re even less reliable than a broken polling system. To borrow Joanna’s metaphor, it’s the difference between following highway signs that are probably wrong, vs. signs that are…

Since these pollsters make money, rather than operating out of the goodness of their hearts, they’re not going to go away. So there are just a few options for this situation to get better:

They write a letter to the wookiee stork?