OK, that’s true for an individual scale, but on an evolutionary scale, the hermaphroditic individual who reproduces once and dies has contributed just as much to the genetic diversity as the individual who reproduces many times or reproduces once and continues to live. So in terms of either set of genes being likely…

I would think that the dioecious species also gain an advantage from individuals mating with multiple partners, thereby increasing the overall genetic diversity of the species. So the longer an individual stays alive and fertile, the better for the population.

I encourage everyone to support my newest venture, Port-a-Johns For Bears. For too long, our ursine friends have been forced to defecate on bushes, under trees and atop hedgehogs. When will this tyranny end?

Good point. Also, Wayne always gives me extra ketchup packets.

Ding ding ding, we have a winner!

“I’m curious, Nancy, who is this Andropov fella who keeps calling me? Speaks with a kind of a strange accent. Is he trying to get me into the next RKO talkie?”

“Ronald Reagan once punched a hole in a cow just so he could see who was comin’ up the road.”

Yeah, at least there’s evidence to support the idea that Teddy Roosevelt was intellectually curious. And I suppose you could easily say that his IC factor was higher than, for example, Snooki.

What does that even mean? How would you even begin to back up an assertion like that?

I suppose from Mejia’s perspective, there’s little downside to concocting a cockamamie story like this one. He’s unlikely to ever pitch in any top-level league ever again, so why not throw a hail mary in the hopes that someone buys it? Even a crazy longshot is better than no shot at all.

Alternatively, supposing that someone at MLB actually did make such a threat, why would they bother to follow through on it? What do they gain?

After Harper falls off:

Roger Ebert was great for railing against the MPAA:

So they seriously expect a person to attend 40 home games, or give away whatever tickets they can’t use? I’ve never looked into season tix but I always assumed that most who have them resell a good chunk.

Wait till they start charging the players admission to enter the arena.

Ogilvie Juniper, AKA “the OG Jump-Jump,” AKA “OJ,” was illegitimate son of the hereditary baron of the duchy of Southeast Schleswig who arose to fame the late 1770s. OJ was known to frequent the local houses of ill repute in the duchy, not as a client, but to distribute his tracts of ribald poetry featuring members of…

They have to do due diligence now to make up for all the due diligence they didn’t do back when they shoulda done did it.

The real question is, why won’t that blue jumpsuit let Scott Kelly go? Is it some kind of evil space alien in jumpsuit form, here to steal all of our precious bodily fluids? Probably!

Mitt: “Donald, you can’t say out loud that the GOP hates all minorities, women and the disadvantaged. You can whisper it behind closed doors (make sure to confiscate any cellphone cameras!), but in public all you can do is put forward supposedly color-blind policies that just incidentally happen to negatively impact…

Be vewy, vewy, qwiet ...