They couldn’t have the party without him ...

I never feel that I lack the right to say “no,” it’s more that sometimes I make the calculation that it’s more trouble than it’s worth to exercise that right.

The thing is, guys like us have to overcompensate for the assholes who did this damage to our girlfriends/wives. We have to be so careful not to pick at the scabs over the emotional wounds that those other guys created. Not that they’re china dolls who can never be jostled, but there are sore spots where we can do…

Is there any chance she was being sarcastic? I mean, in context, sarcasm doesn’t make any sense, but it doesn’t make any less sense than a sincere reading, right?

Of all the misreadings, this is my favorite.

For just a moment, the necrotic lump of flesh that had once been Jeb’s heart mustered a pair of lethargic beats. His long-dormant pituitary gland emitted a single endorphin molecule. The nearly atrophied muscles required to form a smile were just as surprised as Jeb himself when the motor neurons sent the “Go!” signal…

If you were to make an accurate film of his life, it would be one of the most depressing stories told. The only bright spot would be his athletic accomplishments at school, and even those would be tainted.

To some degree it’s understandable that you bought the idea that men are insatiable, because guys encourage each other to believe that it’s true. For men, there’s not much upside in raising your hand and admitting that sometimes you’re just not in the mood.

I appreciate your empathy, but I should be clear, nothing particularly awful has happened to me. I’m just describing one less-than-perfect aspect of what is otherwise a great relationship. The experience of the author of the main article is light years worse than anything I’ve encountered, and even then she doesn’t…

But is it really fine when you initiate and he puts the brakes on? I feel like there’s an expectation that guys are supposed to always be ready to go at a moment’s notice, and therefore there must be something else going on when a husband/boyfriend isn’t in the mood.

I appreciate your insight very much. This is not the kind of thing guys can talk about with each other, generally. Sometimes I wish there was a Jezebel for men so we could.

It’s an issue that’s been slowly building. I guess I didn’t really realize how much it was bothering me until I started to write it out. It seems like her libido is increasing in recent years and mine is decreasing. Not because I’m any less interested in her, I just don’t have the same appetite I used to have. She’s…

I wasn’t so much offended by you saying it as by the idea of it, and kinda horrified because in a sick way I could see that there was some truth to it. But I didn’t think you meant any harm.

I don’t deserve all or even of the majority of the credit for being sensitive. She was very clear with me right at the beginning of our relationship that she’d had a very difficult history – no rape or molestation, but she did have close family members pressuring her to have sex with boyfriends when she didn’t want…

The idea of “trading rapes” makes my skin crawl. If I found out I was on the wrong side of such an experience I’d be gutted.

I might try that, I’ve actually had good luck with therapists for other unrelated things.

I shouldn’t have just used your comment as an excuse to talk about my experience. Apologies for that.

If he had anything like a functioning moral center and/or empathy for other human beings, the moment she said she wasn’t attracted to him in such concrete terms would’ve been the end of his own desire to have sex with her. For a normal guy, that’s an instant libido crusher. You have to have something seriously wrong…

It’s a bit uncomfortable to discuss this, but I’ve had similar experiences to yours, except I’m a guy. When my wife is in the mood and I’m not, I know that there will be emotional repercussions later if I tell her i’m not into it. So I allow her the opportunity to try to get me into the mood, and usually it works.

I believe Martin had a strong throughline when he began the series, but over the years he’s come to dislike or has become disinterested in his original plan.