YES!! That’s it!! That’s the lip thing!! You nailed it, thank you, that’s been making me crazy.

Oh no, I’m not sure if I can un-see that now! I think you might have ruined Gelflings for me O_o

Jennifer Jason Fucking Leigh. Does that make sense? No. Do people even care about her anymore? No! But if she shows up in something, there is going to be plenty of ‘WATCH ME ACTING MY ASS OFF. WATCH MY INTERESTING CHOICES AND SMOLDERING INTENSITY.’ She exhausts me.

This might make me very unpopular, but Kristin Wiig. I feel like she’d be a very sly mean girl in person (the “It’s so cool that you don’t care whether boys think you’re hot” type), and I don’t fully understand the appeal of her comedy. I also wanted to slap her character a lot in Bridesmaids.

I do not know who the hell Demi Moore thinks she is. 

Even if they aren’t less terrible shouldn’t they get the opportunity to make shitty decisions on behalf of everyone else? I mean white guys got to do it for basically forever. It’s our time.

Baker Mayfield actually died ten years ago this very night!!!!!!!

I’m sorry, Tyrod got a raw deal in Buffalo but Baker clearly outplayed him. Tyrod looks timid out there, he’s waiting for guys to get wide open. Baker wasn’t afraid to throw into small windows. It's a small sample size but it was night and day.

Way to fuck up the Browns draft position, Mayfield.

I really don’t get what everyone sees in him and why everyone calls him hot? In my (rarely) humble opinion I’d say that he’s cute, like a puppy is cute...but not hot. Now if we’re talking hot, let me present...

Wow, the Meyers family has some real dominant genes.

It’s ok.  Look for Ellie’s Brown Ale from Avery. It’s top notch. 

Ha Ha no Moose Drool for you Junior!

Paste Magazine staff writer Jim Vorel, who heads up that site’s beer coverage, penned a lengthy rebuttal to Gaffigan entitled: “Jim Gaffigan’s Anti-Craft Beer Op-Ed Is Equal Parts Pointless and Short-Sighted.”

The correct response from the Brewer’s Association would have been, “Nah. Craft beer’s pretty good.” 

Hear, hear. [insert clinking beers emoji] 

No, you’re not alone. Jesus Christ, the guy’s a comedian. He’s up there to get laughs, not get enmeshed in hipster politics. Of all the things comedians have said over the years (George Carlin once famously said that rape is funny) people choosing a routine about what beer tastes like to get upset about is beyond…

That’s my pickup line in bars.

While the morbid voyeurism that propelled the video to viral status remains unsettling, Lauren attributes its spread to her safety.

The answer to ALL questions about tipping in this column is 20%.