Jesus invented fire for a reason. Raw meat is a sin.

Schnatter is the Papa John's Pizza of humans.

“...he lives in a house WITH A MOAT....”

*Also, an underground garage with over 20 vintage classic cars inside.

boo this man

The endorphin rush of many likes on his social media post.

If you glance upward, you may spot the joke whizzing by you.

Please don’t make me explain the joke.

Schnatter apparently failed to note that Colonel Sanders is long dead.

And who the fuck cares what Sanders said, anyway? There is NO excuse for a white person, in this day and age, to ever say the N-word in any context whatsoever.

Whoever wrote that apology has been paying attention. Excellent work.

Update: he won’t be staying there any more. The judge got wind of his bullshit, and is pissed, so he’s being remanded to normal jail. Please enjoy this breakdown by @SpicyFiles (who appears to be a person with a terrifyingly intense obsession with digging up all manner of court filings and plowing through them with…

This is...the dumbest take I’ve seen in a while. “You’re okay with supporting artistic endeavors to tell stories of oppression, but you’re not okay with tonedeaf capitalist exploitation of those stories? Clearly you’re a hypocrite!”

I’ve been known to eat pickles and olives, and nothing else, for an entire day.  I actually skip dinner more often than not, especially if it’s hot out.

Did you tell them to shove it? Please tell me you told them to shove it. You’re supposed to campaign on ideas, to test out what resonates with people, to convince the public of the efficacy and worthiness of your ideas. Otherwise, what is the point? Grrrrrr. 

Looks like this cop got caught telling a Whopper.

So, I always have to remind myself on one hand in cases like this that suspension was created as a reform to protect public-sector workers from things like political reprisal and firing for patronage so that you could get rid of someone and put someone of your political tribe in place. People used to get fired for…

I'll have Ofrude pick up a couple bottles and report back.

I’d actually be on board with this if they’d really go all in on the branding.

I haven’t watched the series (Hulu is torture to watch anything on for me), but read the book years ago.  I have no desire to relive the story by watching or drinking.