Prob only came in third because her twohead is so small tbh

Also, if it was product placement, he would have been violating FTC regulations by not labeling the tweets as ads.

“My body drastically changed because of yoga.” OK, I don’t doubt that at all, but I prefer when she uses the word “dramastically,” myself.

I respect her more for this than anything she’s ever done before. Not that the bar was set very high... or at all.

Big deal: blindness, bleeding head injury, firehose vomiting, hallucinations, toenails falling off — that’s more than half the Phish shows I’ve been to.  

I love raisins, they’re sweet, they’re healthy, they stick together so I can eat an entire box in one bite, and you get to pretend like you’re mercy killing elderly grapes! In so many ways they are a perfect little snack, but if I take a bite out of what I think is a chocolate chip cookie and realize that it’s…

my man married his (second) cousin so I’m guessing it rhymes with “spin fest”

Not exactly on topic, but I feel like 2013 (and 2008, for what it’s worth) WAS yesterday, and I’m just now realizing that was 5 and 10 years ago and is this what middle age is like?

I am dying. “Little Caucasians” for what it’s worth, it a killer band name, tho.

THE DRESS WAS BLUE AND BLACK.

That would be both the greatest thing to happen in American politics as well as worst and I also think it would be one of the happiest days of my life

Teens defeating Russian bots by not engaging. War Games reboot out in Summer 2020.

No one over 32 can successfully use Snapchat

DIY Cherry Liqueur, for those who aren’t privy to Luxardo or live in areas w/internet sale restrictions. Bonus points if you do a sous vide infusion!

This particular tincture might be excellent with limeade as well!

I just want to say if you are spanking or yelling at your children, you’ve failed as a parent. You are an adult, act like it.

I know there are genuinely bad & disengaged parents out there, but some of these comments... yikes.

Right? I don’t have a lot of sympathy for this story. Use your grown up words including “Mr. Manager, this drunk customer is standing over our table. Remove him or I will call the cops.”

My kid loooooved sushi as early as 4-5 years old. The issue here isn’t the restaurants selection, its terrible parenting and oblivious parents. People are fucking idiots.

“What can I do about super-loud kids and their oblivious parents?”