Here’s a start to the party...

Like, $2,000, seriously? I’d go to my husband and be like “can you believe this idiot thought I’d pay $2,000 to hide the fact I’m sleeping with other people?!? You know I don’t even care enough to change the password on my phone.”

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST WITH THIS GUY.

“We didn’t have an armoire.”

It’s not even remotely strange. Did you know John Tyler, our tenth president who was in office from 1841-1845, has two living *grandchildren*?

John Tyler, America’s 9th President, has grandsons who are still alive.

You know, I went and looked it up!

So, just so we are clear here is a quick summary of Tammy Duckworth’s life:

Um, excuse me, I have a Kill Journal not a mere list like some college punk.

He seems nice.

May as well ... *puts on sunglasses* ... live in squalor.

We’re ALL eating lentil soup right now. Group think, group eat, amirite ladiez?

You can’t sell weed EVERY day.

I’d buy a shirt with a pic of Rita Ora with “Who?” written underneath.

Where’s my “Nancy what the fuck are you talking about please” shirt?

If I can’t get a monogrammed Jezebel thermos full of lentils, what is even the point?

Scrolls through merch... wait... no “Lesbian Shitass” or “Do You Even PubMed” tees?

Testing unknown USB drives is what the Apple Store is for.

Hey guys, can we do a Gofundme campaign to buy Jason Miller a chin?