She looks like a blow-up sex doll and there are dudes who get boners for those, so yeah, you are technically correct here.

I was thinking maybe a dramatic stage reading.

Yeah and she BOUGHT half her face, so... yikes.

No, you can apply for a mail-in ballot and not use it. They have barcodes or other tracking number type things that are recorded when the ballot is then received. If it’s not received, and you vote in person, then that vote will count and if, for whatever reason, you had indeed mailed in your ballot, it will then…

We ate ours. We froze it and once it was frozen, we vacuum-sealed it and it was almost perfect when we thawed it out for our anniversary. I regularly do this with cakes!

You would hope so. But here in my part of NJ, there is a lot of whining about how not being able to vote in-person via machine is an infringement upon our rights. IT MAKES NO GODDAMN SENSE because *all* NJ voters are receiving mail-in ballots. ALL NJ voters have the option to stick it in the mail or drop at a drop…

He’s 19 and already so broken. 

The problem is, nobody memes like teenagers (seriously, I own a teenager and she creates some hilarious things, some of which I actually understand) but teens are too young to drink that garbage! We’re all too young to drink that garbage!

The Taco Bell drive-thru in Kent, Ohio used to have an honest-to-god phone handset that you’d have to pick up and put to your ear. I can’t imagine it was ever cleaned in ANY way (except MAAAAAYBE by the rain). So if you ever put that thing anywhere near your face, you are immune to at least 15 known diseases. It was,…

I started an hour ago, so...

I’m just one woman, and my experience is in no way universal, but I know that my sense of smell is incredibly sensitive during that time, so it stands to reason that my sense of taste is heightened, too. I haven’t paid much attention to that. The only reason I know about my sense of smell is because I can smell every…

That may be the ONE excuse I haven’t used yet. Gonna have to give that a try.

My pocket on New Jersey just got a Trader Joe’s, so now I live within 5 miles of a Wegmans (my church), a Whole Foods, and Trader Joe’s. There is also a Fresh Market not too far away. The only thing missing from my neighborhood is a really good international market. We have the Caribbean market down the road and…

I don’t think so... one was a boyfriend (he was not a boyfriend much longer after that) and the other was a work/friend group.

I would legit start stabbing people. My family first, for taking me to fucking APPLEBEE’S for my birthday, and the staff at said Applebee’s for putting up with that nonsense.

I have considered sitting in Barnes & Noble to read it but I don’t want anyone I know to see me. 

Bill Clinton’s book pissed me off so much I didn’t even finish it. Not the content, but the fact that he kept writing things like “and so-and-so came to visit Hillary and I” instead of “Hillary and me” and SON, YOU WERE A RHODES SCHOLAR and didn’t anyone edit that fucking thing? So I got mad at it and used it for…

I legit carry cab fare (well, now it’s on my phone and it’s Uber or Lyft) when going out for my birthday because if they start singing at me, I will get up and walk out. I’ve done it twice, because people don’t believe me when I say that this is not a thing I want, ever. Sing at me at home, if you need to, but in a…

Well. That is... that is definitely a thing. Wow.

Imagine having the idea for a tattoo and THAT being the idea.