I live 3 miles from a golf course owned by a certain orange dickweasel, so there’s that.

They could take the same honeymoon I did roughly 16 times. 

I made it to regionals when I was wee, and it was NERVE-RACKING. The local bee was in my middle school, in a familiar environment. The regional was on a HUGE stage at some theater and it was very easy to get flustered, which I did. Otherwise, I might have been the 1988 champion. ;)

I’m special!

Here’s what you do: give the culprit a paper cut, but the FIERCE MANILA ENVELOPE KIND. And then every single day, squirt lemon juice into it. If it starts to heal, GIVE THEM ANOTHER ONE and keep up with the lemon juice.

And if they used a credit card with rewards? Honeymoon is paid for already!

That TP is the best, man. It’s just thick enough that it does the job but not so thick that the shitty [heh] plumbing in my house rejects it. It’s very good TP.

I’m a big fan of GIANT STONES. Don’t waste any money on tiny little diamond flecks, man. Put all that cash into ONE BIG STONE. I want people to be able to see it from space.

Some NJ locals are getting up to $20/4 pack. It’s ridiculous but if the market will bear it, more power to them, I say.

I doubt this stems from true self-awareness. It’s probably more the result of many people in his life saying “dude... stop. Just stop.”

There are a lot of things I don’t shop for online because I need them today. So when I head to Costco for TP and whatever else I’m buying, it’s because we’re down to our last roll and I am gonna need that replenished NOW, not in 3-5 days. That’s the case with probably most grocery-type items. Clothing, electronics,…

Wordscapes is my jam. I was up to level 2300-something and then I got a new phone and my data didn’t port over so I had to start from scratch.

It seems short-sighted to NOT let kids into this thing. Kids are usually a marketer’s dream, because they don’t give a shit about anything but themselves and are really good at telling you when something is good and when something sucks out loud. I’m honestly shocked that they don’t allow kids into this event.

YES. You can have chainmaille and rivets OR lace and ribbons, but this is just too much. 

I rolled my ankle and broke my foot just looking at the pics, so I’m gonna say that no, these are not OK.

Please tell me she kept that fax. Not because it’s from Moby (because who cares) but because an 11-page breakup fax has got to be quite a sight.

This comment escalated quickly. 

I worked at a Fashion Bug in the mid-90s. The only things I remember are cap-sleeve dresses with princess seams and a very enthusiastic penchant for combining taupe and navy. 

I dyed my hair Lucille-Ball-red in college and it was NOT A GREAT IDEA because my naturally ash-brown hair means that my eyebrows... didn’t match. It was not a good look, but it was also brief because shortly after that I dyed the whole thing black and ended up having to practically shave it off and start over. 

The Full English is a remarkable hangover cure.