She can *totally* sit with us.

What’s-His-Name’s original proposal idea involved going up to the roof of the tallest building in the city (when you work in real estate you can do things like that) because I love that kind of thing. But it was snowing (which I hate), so he had to come up with something else entirely and we ended up in the art…

Even if that’s the case, why not SAY THAT instead of “sorry, fatty. We don’t have anything that could possibly fit you.”

If you have ANY doubt at all, even a single grain of salt doubt, DO NOT DO THIS IN PUBLIC. You need to be rock-solid sure that you’re going to get a “yes” or it is going to be weird and awkward for EVERYONE.

If anyone wants to send an email to the “Dean of Discipline” at that school, have at it:

I have eaten there 5 times. Of those 5 times, 4 of them resulted in me spewing out of both ends for the next 24-48 hours. When I’m with a group and that’s where they want to go, I either have to put up with it and roll the dice or be That Person. Sometimes it’s just easier to take the discomfort (and temporary weight…

I have 7 different ways to open wine and the number of bottle openers I have cannot be calculated except by a NASA supercomputer.

Chipotle. 

I’m impressed! I have 5 different *kinds* of mustard but 5 bottles of French’s is quite an accomplishment!

I’m good enough at getting rid of food that I’ll never use, but let’s talk about the fact that I seem to have acquired 8 pie plates over the past 20 years or so. 8 of them. I make pie maybe once or twice a year.

I think that was really your only course of action. And you pulled it off!!

They’re akin to veal, so cook them the same way you’d cook a nice veal chop.  Or Pre-K Osso Bucco.

I can do it! I can also do the Greek alphabet forwards and backwards thanks to my training as a fraternity pledge in the early 90s!

Regular. The reduced-guilt one didn’t taste “right” and the hatch-chile one is good sometimes but it’s easy to overdo it. 

Yes! I’m a from-scratch Mac & Cheese snob (and mine is pretty good) but Trader Joe’s isn’t half bad. I’m not going to eat it all the time, but the kid loves it so it’s a win for me.

In our house, the frozen Mac & Cheese takes the top spot. WeePiglet dies for it, so we buy 24 at a time or something ridiculous like that. 

Meghan squatting in heels with that pregnant belly? Damn girl. Respect.

Perhaps there are credit card slips? 

Says you!!! Wendy’s retweeted me once and now we are BFF.

Carton gets a little too experimental for my tastes. I love the ODubs and Boat, but beyond that... they get a little busy and overdone. Same with Bolero Snort, but they seem to put out enough good shit that I can overlook some of the crazier things.