Getting a sous vide has completely elevated my steak game. 

If they are ground up into itty bitty particles and used as an additive to something and I can’t taste them or know that they are in there, then yeah, fine, whatever, I’d eat ‘em. But knowingly and on purpose? Eeeeeeehhhhh maybe? Not very often? I don’t know. I can’t decide.

Oh, child. YOU MISSED HER FUCKING POINT.

I mean... can it get worse? Might as well give it a shot. 

YES, OMG.

Oh, it is. There is a huge difference between and IPA bottled yesterday and one bottled last year. Many stouts change over time, as well.

I wanted to hate the shit out of this whole endeavor, but with a woman head brewer, I can’t be too mad at it. And cherry stout? Yes, please, more.

I removed one from my husband one time - for some reason the skin covering it was thin enough that it looked like it had a head and I just went for it. It was soooooooo gross but so satisfying. He had another one that he refused to let me handle so the dermatologist took it off for him. I don’t know how I’m supposed…

But... but... will he ever enjoy steak again? Will his mother EVER get the house decorated? 

That’s somehow both better and worse.

D’oh.

That’s just ridiculous. Are you supposed to approach people in the parking lot? “Excuse me ma’am, do you have time to talk about Our Lord and Savior Target Red Card?”

Ohhhh there are days when I test out my improv skills on unsuspecting cashiers. Sometimes you just need to tell a story and in doing so, you give that cashier a story of their own to tell in the breakroom! It’s a public service, really.

Like I always say, I’ve never killed anyone accidentally. If it smells OK and isn’t slimy or otherwise setting off your “ewwww grossssssss” instincts, cook it to hell and back and serve it up.

Trust me, I know. I did my time in red and khaki and pushed that damn card like it was crack. Every retail or fast-food joint I’ve ever worked in has required upselling and it sucks because management requires it and oftentimes you’re not allowed to stop after the first “no” and have to keep pushing. One of these…

I hate when they don’t take my polite “no” for an answer. “Will this be on your Target Red Card?” No. “But you save 5%!” No, thank you. “But...”

That was my #1 parenting tool. We used the one we got from the hospital and at one point, it went missing. I was plotting a “visit” to the local maternity ward so I could swipe one. But it reappeared, thank goodness. 

Agreed. What would they even DO? After 10 years, they exhausted all the white people storylines they could find. What else is there? 

I would watch a Living Single/Friends reboot/mashup. 

You’ve never eaten at a restaurant in New York City, apparently. Most places have tables so close together, you’re related to the people next to you by the end of the appetizer course.