Well, he tried and he failed. Comedy isn’t as easy as people think. First of all, it has to be funny.

I’m surprised PETA hasn’t said anything about this. Poor cats.

Exactly. After the first couple of hours, maybe, someone best be getting out a mop and suddenly have to clean that section. There are ways to move people along, and this letter writer is full of shit.

This letter sounds FAKE AS HELL to me. Either this is this person’s first job serving or they are meek as fuck and in the wrong damn business.

I always wonder how much of Kate or Meghan’s day is taken up with their respective Glam Squads.
Do they ever just get to have a messy bun and sweatpants weekend anymore?

We didn’t save either of our two cakes. Mostly because the first one was garbage with fruit bullshit in it and whipped-cream frosting. It was terrible and I hated that thing so much. So we didn’t keep it. I think I sent it home with my MIL because it was the cake SHE wanted, not me, and despite her saying she was on a…

And the quality of information is far worse. In 1818: did someone milk the cow, did Timmy die from lockjaw, is there enough wood so we don’t freeze when the snow comes, etc. Important, life-sustaining stuff! 

“There’s a lot on the line?”

WHY THE FUCK do any of the adult Trump dickshit asswipe crotch droppings get Secret Service protection? I don’t want to pay for that shit. You need security and you’re over 18? Pay for it yourself, shitwad.

Lol, you’re stupid. Do you know how many families can make it work on one income in this day and age? 

Presumably, he was an oaf when she married him.

It has to do with the way the syllables fall in the word sausage. When your brain is spelling is, you’re thinking in syllables: saus ... age. So since the USA part is broken up, our stupid brains usually need it pointed out to them. Brains like patterns but only when they’re obvious.

Also crazy: between the E and the X in the FedEx logo makes an arrow. I can never unsee this and it irritates me greatly but I don’t really know what.

THIS!!!! This is why I abhor potlucks and have an aversion to food other people have cooked and brought over. I will happily cook and serve a dinner for 25 people before I eat a single thing that was brought to my house after having been prepared elsewhere. Sometimes desserts are an exception, but it’s rare. I don’t…

#TEAM_STUMP

THISSSSSSS. Literally no one cares until you break up! Then we want all the details! Go live your lives until then, you guys!

Every year! Worked for Heidi and Seal... until it didn’t.

Mustard and dill pickle relish. Maybe also onions. If you’re gonna give yourself acid reflux, go big or go home.

I want to say that PETA should be classified as a terrorist organization, but their membership is just so stupid. They’re so silly and the shenanigans they get involved in detract from any useful messaging they might actually have.

His grandparents were probably twins. His parents, too, from the looks of him. His neckbeard has a neckbeard.