No. Shut it down.

New Jersey’s alcohol laws are pretty lax, from my experience. Lots of restaurants are BYOB if they don’t have liquor licenses, and while you can’t buy booze in most grocery stores (Wegmans exploits a loophole in the law, thank GOD), literally every third storefront is a liquor store so it’s not like you have to go far…

Most of the benefits of meth without all your teeth falling out and your skin rotting off!

Call it what you want, I love it and will happily shovel it into my cakehole whenever presented with the opportunity.

I love it BECAUSE it’s not crispy! It’s a whole different thing from American bacon and far superior, in my opinion. American streaky bacon is FINE and useful in most applications, but there is just something about English bacon consumed IN ENGLAND (that part is very important) that makes it my favorite thing.

Why on earth would he want American bacon when he literally lives in the land of perfect English bacon? ENGLISH BACON IS THE BEST KIND, YOU GUYS. The last time I was there for a visit I ate so much of it I started getting the meat sweats and I was totally fine with that. I could look a little harder or ask my butcher…

I’ve been told that my toes are actually too small for my feet. How that happens, I do not know, but I use that as an excuse for being a klutz.

If I want to smell meaty, I’ll just skip my post-gym shower.

38G here and I buy Elomi bras whenever Nordstrom has a sale and I haunt the clearance racks and sales at Nordstrom Rack, too. I was a solid B-cup flatty until I had a baby, then the boobs came in for nursing and never left. Hrmph.

Anything’s possible, but I would hope that his security (and um, poison control) would be air-tight.

Most of the commentary I’ve seen agrees with you. This is a [relative] slap on the wrist in exchange for some really big fish.

Coffee is the thing, man.

Right? This is positively quaint compared to the dipshit we have to put up with.

I would pay a stupid amount of money to make that happen for real.

It was a bit like that, but the marriage bit hasn’t been [much of] a punishment. ;)

I had a bad time with tequila one time and ended up married as a result.

The first booze I remember having was a capful of ouzo with my dad. I think he was trying to discourage me from becoming a boozehound because I haven’t touched ouzo since then.

Pence has never done anything macho in his entire life. That was a sad display of... well, I’m not sure what that was. Maybe he really had to poop.

That is something I think we can work with. He’s a shitbird, but he doesn’t seem quite so immediately dangerous. I doubt he’s going to barf out his 12-year-old insults and hurts on Twitter, he probably won’t sexually harass anyone (except Mother, but only because she tells him to), and he very very likely won’t get us…

“Graydon Carter said that if you lie down right here, he’ll admit that you really do have big hands.”