Either way, it’s a win - this fucking circus will be over, either with all these numbskulls behind bars or all of us as crispy bits of dust. I’m okay with either outcome, honestly.

I just whooped out loud and scared both of my dogs out of a dead sleep.

SING MIKEY SING!!!! I will personally drive a bus to DC for you to throw people under! Name all the names! DOOO ITTT.

I’m partial to Purim, where the idea is that you get SO drunk, you can no longer tell who the good guys or bad guys are. Everyone’s just wasted.

Over Memorial Day weekend? Royal Wedding drinking game!

I am snobby about coffee and beer but not so snobby that I want to spend an hour making upside-down osmosis drip pour-over nitro coffee. Just gimme it at home, but if I’m out, I’ll splurge for the fancy shit, sure.

Sounds like you keep yourself busy! Good, good.

I WISH. I know the UK has its own set of issues, but if I’m ever given the opportunity to live there for an extended period of time, I’m taking it even if I have to skip my own funeral.

It’s complicated!

I’m a left-handed feminist atheist Jew with Socialist leanings and I’d love nothing more than for this fucker to go down and I would sign my name to that. Alas, I don’t live in Alabama (lucky me).

That last pic is the exact china set we have. It was passed down from my husband’s grandmother, because we didn’t get any for our own wedding (we did pick a pattern and register for some, but our wedding went in a whole ‘nother direction for myriad reasons so that registry didn’t really shake out). We have service for…

WHY IS WEST HAM SO TERRIBLE THIS YEAR?

Exactly! It’s not like I haven’t tried!

If Wisconsin is full of the kind of people who would elect Scott Walker, I’m in favor of letting armed toddlers mow ‘em down.

Same. I’m just waiting for some hipster bar to do a Seinfeld theme night and I’m THERE.

The kids aren’t the problem here - they sound like your basic teenagers, to me. It’s the SO who is the problem and you nailed, it Patrick - he’s deflecting and pushing his issues onto MoN and when she points this out, he runs away, basically.

I have TRIED with tofu, you guys. Many, many, many times. I just cannot. And yes, I have tried it this way and that way and prepared by vegan chefs and the other way and with this thing and that sauce and the other preparation and in this dish and that dish. I HAVE TRIED. I just can’t do it.

I haven’t studied that one much, but it’s fascinating to me how many people died in that one. You’d think it would be a slow-moving thing that you could avoid, kind of like zombies!

So what I’m hearing you say is that I can get my boneless “wings” with Arby’s Sauce*?? I’m listening...