Have you heard of the Talmud? Its entire purpose is to discuss, explain, enlighten, and justify the Torah, and that’s just the first 10 lines. Your “all-or-nothing” approach here is just as rigid as you’re claiming religions to be.

I have had great success with books that I’ve inherited or found at garage sales that just reeeeeeeeeked. A couple of weeks in a sealed bin with baking soda or Odor Eaters or cedar bricks (or all three and then some) and things can improve.

Wasn’t that at the wedding of whichever one of them got married? Cool wedding favors, broettes.

I wonder if you put your journal in a sealed container with odor-absorbing whatsits if you’d be able to mitigate some of the smell. It’s worth a shot for something that is obviously very valuable to you!

Agreed! No longer do I stumble home at 3AM and *have to* take a shower because I cannot abide the smell in my hair/clothes/bedding! No more drunken showers! I can stumble directly home and directly to bed! Huzzah!

There’s a lid for every pot.

I always tried that “get rid of things she doesn’t play with anymore” but as soon as I’d start making a mental list of things to be spirited out of the house undercover of the darkest night, the kid would mysteriously start playing with those exact things! It was eerie. Now that she’s a little older, she gets to…

Every time teenage pics of mine show up on FB, I feel compelled to apologize for my hair. A perm seemed like a good idea at the time, okay?

My house is open-plan so if I’m cooking, everyone in the house knows it. For lingering smells (curry and bacon, I’m looking at you), I leave a bowl of white vinegar out on the counter overnight and that helps.

Agreed.

You can use it on literally any political post! It’s equal parts hilarious and sad.

4th generation Florida Man! They get stronger in every incarnation!

I keep asking mine if she wants to learn German or French and go abroad for high school/college, find and marry someone there, get citizenship, and then have me and What’s-His-Name come to stay. So far, she keeps saying no, but high school is a couple of years away so we have time to work on her.

FINE. :(

We will happily trade you all of the Amazon, in perpetuity, for like, 5 years of Justin Trudeau.

If you want to lose literally hours of your life, search Pinterest for “gender reveal party ideas” and then weep through an entire box of tissues because people are so weird and terrible and lame.

Sometimes I miss Ohio, but then I see stories like this and I super-don’t.

Ladies and gentlemen, OHIO!!! Where common sense doesn’t exist and the laws don’t matter!

Oh Bubba, no!