I'm betting Disney will be super-okay with this.

True narcissists can never be fixed—they never believe they have a problem.

SHE'S SO CONFUSED SHE CAN'T EVEN STAY UPRIGHT. SIDEWAYS IS DOWN UP IS LEFT, TOP IS EAST!

I WANT IT I HATE IT I WANT IT I HATE IT I WANT IT I HATE IT I WANT IT I HATE IT I WANT IT I HATE IT I WANT IT I HATE IT I WANT IT I HATE IT I WANT IT I HATE IT I WANT IT I HATE IT I WANT IT I HATE IT I WANT IT I HATE IT I WANT IT I HATE IT I WANT IT I HATE IT I WANT IT I HATE IT I WANT IT I HATE IT I WANT IT I HATE IT…

Everybody knows that if you put too many women together in one place they will all congregate in the public areas together, including—but not limited to—the bathrooms, where ladies do their dark magic. At best this situation leads to longer toilet queues and at worst, terrorism.

Right.

I read this this morning and realized that you can add up all the existentialist writings of the twentieth century and it still won't amount to one tenth of this story's distillation of what it means to be a lonely soul in a meaningless universe.

Oh my God, yes. A thousand times yes.

Host: Burt Reynolds, but instead of handing out awards to new films, he spends the entire night talking about his films from the 70s and why they are all masterpieces that today's films can't hold a candle to. Then he shares a couple of long, rambling stories about Hal Needham and Dom DeLuise. Whenever someone tries…

So I assume Captain Planet appeared ten seconds later?

"The last humans will be as naked and stupid as the first."

Indeed.

One of the biggest issues here is that how a woman looks is so intrinsically tied to her standard of living. Better looking women have better jobs, more friends/romantic prospects; the better you look, the better you're treated. Who wouldn't stress over that?

it had to be done.

Well I think that we can all agree that no one involved is a Sondheim.

St. Paul responds to the Corinthians

From St. Paul back to Corinthians

And now, a reading from a letter from St. Paul to the Corinthinians: