How to Murder Your Campaign?

Maybe it’s a clue: blue and pink

i sent a similar group text. no response.

Apparently that is the THING right now, along with garters that don’t attach to anything. At least that is what my boudoir photography buddy tells me. “Very European,” she insists.

This is also the best pregnancy announcement ever and I plan on stealing it. When is she starting her maternity veil line, I wonder?

She has been pregnant since the fist date

looks la picture you take while on vacation somewhere on Caribbean or at Sears

That gif!!!

I’m very happy for Mrs. Carter and her family, but that photo looks like it was put together by a not particularly talented 8th grade photography student with no budget.

Good for them, babies are great. That photo, though....that’s pretty fucking awkward.

ball’s in your court, amal clooney.

ILLUMINATISHOPPED!!!11!!

Now this is how you campaign for Grammy’s

Current level of excitement...

So extra ...

Thanks for taking us on the journey.

The mom is standing there vacuuming like:

The mom is standing there vacuuming like:

And the mom is just as bad. Kid knocks over the flower, and mom just grabs the vacuum and starts going at it before she even picks up the plant that’s still probably slowly leaking dirt onto the carpet? And does so with that “I’ve just accepted that this is my life and mentally I’m miles away from here” look on her…

And the mom is just as bad. Kid knocks over the flower, and mom just grabs the vacuum and starts going at it before…