For the Matrix sequels, the directors made a list of all the cool and interesting stuff from the original movie. Then they threw those things away, and made sequels from the dumb bits.

The Austin Powers movies existed for the sole purpose of spoofing Bond films.

Sam Rockwell played Beeblebrox as Beetlejuice, and it just. didn’t. work.

Inception was a better movie in the 80s, when it was called Dreamscape.

Hey Kids! It’s MARK HAMILL!!

Well, I guess I better gather my party, then...

Alex Ovechkin dreams of one day scoring a Hålandtrick. 

Because if there’s one thing Deadspin is known for, it’s their love of St. Louis.

Let’s see... take a Sundqvist dirty hit, add in a Charlie McAvoy head shot against Columbus, divide by in-game penalty minutes, multiply by Blues...

Came for this.  Leaving, hopefully in the same number of pieces I arrived in.

Unfortunately, I’m pretty sure it’s “Can you hear me now?”

One Percent Witbier

40 Ounces and a Mule Malt Liquor

“SSSTTTTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRIIIIIKKKKKEEEE!!!!!!”

The IRS confiscated Bily Joel’s critical rehabilitation as partial payment for his back taxes.

And a bulletproof vest.  Eventually.

Came for this. Leaving once I confirm that it’s not actually my approved, it’s someone else’s.

Thankfully, Kessel’s contract does not give him the ability to block trades to 23! teams.  That would be a lot.

Lots of coalitions in space have a north.

That was a rally bad joke.