Somebody needs to take the internet from me because I’m now reading her article about how everyone she’s ever been a bridesmaid for had terrible fashion sense but all nine of her bridesmaids like the dresses she’s picked out and this is going to be my whole evening now. I can feel it.

... holy shit this bitch

Hilarious! I thought the same and figured it was Shakira's teen daughter or something until I read her post.

She is super adorable, but I actually thought that was a photo of an awkward teenager at first glance.

I know but grits and grilled cheese. I mean I could die happy, right now.

Her milkshake AND her jerk ribs with brown sugar rub bring all the boys to the yard. She left the music biz to go to Le Cordon Bleu.

I didn’t even know she had one.

At my grandma’s very free-form funeral, someone shared the story of how she’d make cornmeal mush for my grandpa a couple times a year, because he loved it. She hated the stuff, since she’d eaten so much during the Depression. Finally one of my cousins chimed in, “What’s cornmeal mush?”

Seems like a wasted opportunity not having Ja Rule on My Kitchen Rules.

My daughter’s favorite snack is cinnamon bread with cinnamon sugar and pepperoni.

We meet on Thursdays, Ms. Grande. See you there.

GRITS ARE GOD.

I’ll be in the produce aisle, naked at 95, with a sensible ponytail, one strand of hair left on my head and a Chanel bow.

Babies say the darnedest things

I’m pleasantly surprised by the baby’s comments on feminism. Good baby.

Mark my words. See you there with my 95 dogs.

What about couples who dress alike? Like Donald Featherstone (who invented the lawn flamingo) and his wife? They wore matching outfits for years.

I’m sorry.