This needs more love. And the attention of "Tidal Town".

In his defense, that sliding glass door was REALLY clean.

[Get boners]

One can only assume that the Batuca Battery Case is to be filled with Fisticuffs Mustache Wax.

4) Cecil the Lion. (It's true; just ask him.)

“All passengers smelled of burned marijuana.”

Also true if you work for your dad.

So, the anti-Tom Cruise?

Well, I’m on delay because I was forced into a conversation about the color 0f a vest I may or may not be wearing three months from now, but in the first fifteen minutes I've seen, I'd say the fix thus far is in.

Is there a Gold Cup Final open thread around these parts?

The real embarrassing part of all this is that it happened on a turf field.

He should come to MLS. No racism in America.

One final question: Why was security protecting the refs after the game? Were they afraid the Mexican fans were going to fellate them right there, en vivo? I'm out.

Holy crap. I can’t believe the ref called that second one, after all you just told me.

Ha! You think he should have deliberately missed the penalty? Yeah, I guess so, for sportsmanship and whatnot. Of course, he would have woken up in a couple of weeks wondering why his throat had a few new holes in his head.

I tuned in I the 90th minute. What happened after that shit call?

Does anyone around here speak Spanish? WTF is happening in this Panama-Mexico game?!

I don’t like running into Danica because it gets a little too much attention.

Well, he shouldn't have dressed like that.

In a few weeks, his strength and conditioning coach will be like, "Dude. You're dropping weights like crazy."