Trump gave up more intel in 5 minutes with the Russians than John McCain did in 5 years of torture from the North Vietnamese.

That’s a solid “Daniel Kicks Johnny in the Face” on Simmons’ list of 14 80s Movies that Explain Celtics Playoff Losses (and Why Magic Actually Committed an Offensive Foul on the Baby Sky Hook).

You know what nobody’s said on their deathbed? “I wish I’d worked more.”

To be fair the wife and kid probably wanted him to go back to work. I mean could you imagine spending more that a day with that guy?

Capitalism really does a number on some people.

You missed the part where they instruct you to cut the bag open after use, put the used pulp in your compost, rinse the bag and put it in a box so you can save them up and mail them back to the company for recycling.

I’ve had a juicer for years. Just a good, old-fashioned juicer that I got on discount when one of my favorite restaurants closed up shop after their owner had a pretty bad heart attack (it was a family-owned business).

Pretty sure it was his WAR that landed Thames in Korea too.

This is the same shit Peyton did when he tried to sell his worn uniforms.

You gotta admit, the change from carrying the helmets to wearing them is probably a net positive.

This whole “OBEY ANY AND EVERY ORDER YOU ARE GIVEN OR YOUR HUMAN RIGHTS ARE FORFEIT” deal aboard airliners is getting really old.

What’s especially despicable about United is the fact that this latest jaw-dropping incident doesn’t seem out of the ordinary for the airline. It was just a couple of weeks ago that United refused to allow three young girls to board their flight, because they were wearing leggings. United didn’t apologize for that…

We have Trump because America has a bunch of racist assholes who are willing to screw themselves over economically just to fuck over people of color? Yeah, that sounds right.

This has to be the most millennial answer ever. You think headphones didn’t come along until the iPod? You know there were discman and walkman waaaay before the iPod, right? And way before 1994.

She was robbed. Everyone knows the Earth was created in 6 days about 6,000 years ago. So 75 million years ago there was nothing. And the closest thing to nothing is....the Timberwolves.

I like the part in which he says “and they totally understand and are entranced in a world that we know nothing about”.

[...] and ESPN notes that she will have an “expanded on-site presence at events such as the Masters, World Series, Super Bowl, the College Football Playoff, and College Football National Championship.”