And also, hangs around for a little too long after dropping his daughter off at the slumber party.

Yes, and it makes me suspect that is EXACTLY what they did for his brother George and he expected the same treatment.

If by writer you mean “are you a sobber, who gets rejected on a frequent basis” then yes? Trying to be that other “real writer” thing but mostly I’m crying and saying, “I’ll never be good at anything!” into my cats fur. I'm real fun at parties.

“Just the tip,” he whispers in the young man’s ear.

If only his Mommy loved him as much as he loves her.

Makes some sense. After all, most people’s firsts are disappointing experiences with no hope of a satisfying finish.

I can picture 50 Shades of Bush so well, please write more!

“What kind of things do you like me to do with you body?” Jeb said as I looked over the contract. “Do you like it when I keep it from healthcare?” Oh my. My inner goddess screams YES but I blush.

I will point out that Jeb’s wearing the same blue pants that Homer Simpson does.

Jeb!

I’m picturing Jeb! standing outside a New Hampshire polling station, holding a boombox over his head and wearing a shirt that says, “Was it good for you, too?”

Is Jeb Bush a tragic figure? Does he just love traveling a long way and spending $14 million so far on muffins? Most importantly: how is he this bad at making jokes? everything involved with running for president.

Yup. The denial is strong in the parents of seriously fucked-up kids. Granted, the likelihood that at least one parent is some sort of abuser/at minimum generally violent feels pretty high to me.

As we address the inappropriate behavior displayed by several students, we remain committed to supporting the vast majority of our student athletes, who are quality individuals that demonstrate positive behavior and strong character traits.”

#NotAllAthletes

Yikes. That sucks. I’ve gone through periods where I wasn’t speaking to one or both of my parents, but so far my sister and I have avoided that. (Knock wood.)

And they like dancing.

“Is that a gun in your pocket....probably not”