10/10 you should have.

I dunno... I think I have this beat, for animal inspiration.

This morning I watched a pint-sized 11 week old “bipawd” (you know, like “bi-pod”?) kitten (pint-sized because he’s at the weight a 7-8 week old should be. His growth was stunted because he spent his first 8 weeks living in a forest feral colony with his…

My dumbass dog chased a squirrel 15 feet up into a tree and got stuck. Neither me nor my husband saw exactly how he made it all the way up there. Did I mention it’s a dachshund?? Ya know, the ones with the tiny legs.

Wait. I literally have an evil twin. She apparently looks exactly like me and inflicts terror on a town approximately 3 hours from me. I have been told many things about her. (Also, she might be me on vacation).

Remember in Days of Our Lives when Kristen had four doppelgängers? Quality TV that was

That’s kind of fucked up, yet interesting. I should read that.

And I got away with it, too!

OMG I only just finished reading Identical Strangers, a memoir by identical twins, adopted by different families, who didn’t find out they had a twin until their mid-thirties. It was all part of a nature v nurture experiment! For the last 40 years or so that’s been considered highly unethical, though, so depending on…

Sometimes the Evil Twin defense is just the simple truth.

This reminds me of an assault (I think with a knife, if I remember correctly) that was in the local news a few years ago. The suspect actually was a twin, and since they didn’t get him at the scene of the crime and couldn’t figure out which one was the culprit, they couldn’t prosecute.

When I was a kid, I found out my parents had adopted me as an infant. There were at least a handful of times that I used the evil twin excuse — at school, at daycare, and once with my mom herself when I got caught stealing an Archie comic from a bookstore. Of course no one was having it, but I was like, “Hey, how do…

I just came here to say: EVIL TWINSIES!!!

We see you.

WHERE’S THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE

I’m sorry, telling you that would be in violation of HR policy.

Haven’t you heard? Countdown clocks are dangerous! All you need are explosives to make them into bombs!

Stop it! I’m torn! I hate making fun of another woman’s looks but then she is someone who completely lied during the debate about Planned Parenthood and those videos. So torn!?!

Half the marketing shit in Japan sounds like it was made up on the spot and the other half sounds like it was meticulously researched in a clean room.

But the following is sure to cause more fun!