YOU GUUUUYZ!! After my hair falling out due to my accident, and being holed up recovering for MONTHS, I finally had a solo girly day! Got my hair done, eyebrows waxed, and went to Sephora. Plus I did it all driving myself and WALKING without crutches!!! Feels good to be doing the everyday things I was missing out on…

I think if I could guarantee my family would be like the Belchers, I might reconsider my ironclad resolve not to have kids.

For being awesome. It's no throwing a ball through a hoop, but whatevs.

Fixed that for you.

More Rachel Dolezal, yeesh. Look, I apologize if someone else has made this same point but could someone explain to me how she’s any different from Caitlyn Jenner?

FLACA

This girl is fuuucked. I went from thinking she really believed she was black, to being liar, to now I just don’t even know. My mind cannot process this.

I want Ed Sheeran and Taylor Swift to get together, then break up. Because the songs will be amazing.

“I don’t want to ever come out against sounding like I’m talking smack about people who have issues with their body weight, or don’t have issues with their body weight.”

I had such a crush on “fat Chris” and then he got hot and I wasn't sure whether I should be excited or not.

But what about “We are groot!”?! Sure, you didn’t like the film, but do you have a heart?

Like a baby feminist Pai Mei.

Even regular thigh gap is just too attainable now. The future next big thing is being able to send a Coke can through your thigh gap without touching.

So is this just for people with fake boobs? I have fairly large breasts, but I don’t think I can hold a can with them without a bra (and I’m fine with that!) Also, team Pepsi.

hm. a fake person and a real person having a relationship. w ryan gosling in it.

Sweet Jesus.