I thought you were supposed to be covering sports, not covering journalism. Is there some way that I, the average reader, could register my displeasure at this non-sports content to your manager? It has turned me off the idea of clicking to find out about the new Mazda lineup.

I look forward to building a relationship this season, I as the expert and you as the eager “student” of my expertise. 

Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy who vandalized the car of a young woman who was ostracized from her sports program after she reported his teammate for domestic abuse.

Fuck this shit.

Yeah, what kind of card? Like a greeting card? Or a playing card? Maybe one of those big ones from The Price is Right Card Game? Why is it red? Is it about politics?

Why did he get the red card? Where is the video link? Why was Bruce Arians dug up from the earth? Who’s the ginger on the back line? What happened on June 29 in 1950? What’s this “football” being played by the feet? Let’s call it soccer. And who is this so-called football’s Abner Doubleday?

That first sentence-paragraph is... just... wow.

i uh am very much taking suggestions.

A bear in the closet. And during pride month?!?!

So, I don’t know what would qualify a person as an expert, but I did go to grad school for acting and spent 4+ years in voice and speech classes. So my ear may not be “expert,” but it is trained, and to my ear, yes, Mikey sounds a hell of a lot like Kyrie. And yes, the low bitrate of a phonecall will strip most of the…

Chris, you elitist East Coast media fuckboy.

Nearly five months ago, I suffered a severe brain hemorrhage while I was just standing around at a work party. When I collapsed, I fractured my skull.

This is a large part of the gaping divide between the Biden generation’s politics-as-sport and the younger generation’s politics-as-morality view of the world. If it’s all just a game, well, good show Kirstjen, you fought hard, good game, see you out there next time. If we see it all in a moral context, she’s guilty…

All these counting stats. I want to know the really important stats, like how many wars he has won so far this season. 

This is a hustle I can 100% support. That coach should be fired. But the parent just played Harvard. 

(Jesse Ventura famously attempted to begin unionizing wrestlers before WrestleMania 2, but Hulk Hogan tattled on him to McMahon and the whole thing was scuttled.)

Paste it into Wolfram Alpha. You’ll be pleasantly surprised.

“Hey Eli, I’ve seen your mom’s -(3 x log(x) - 0.1 exp(-(30 x - 12)^6))!”

I can’t be the only one relieved not to find myself in there.

Jackson’s ‘look’ is incredibly popular on daytime court TV shows like Judge Judy and People’s Court where Bubbas have to answer for damaging rental homes or letting their dogs bite people. I’m assuming the producers unwrap these $9 JoS. A. Bank napkins and hand them out back stage after coaxing the Ben McAdoo…