I love the idea that he wasn’t supposed to call the police on people about to endanger those around them.

“Sorry, we can’t seat you, since YOU don’t know who the fuck YOU are.”

PEOPLE WHO INTERRUPT THE CASHIER WHO’S DEALING WITH SOMEONE ELSE, EVEN IF IT’S TO ASK A SIMPLE QUESTION, ARE GARBAGE PEOPLE AND SHOULD ALL FALL DOWN, REPEATEDLY!!!! (sorry, this Monday is having a case of the Mondays and I’m being a grumpy-face and that was something I HATED. I mean HATED!!!!!!!!!!!11!!!!!1!!!!one!!!…

The margarita-drunk drivers. Because what if they’re made with less liquor becasue they’re on special and maybe those people knew their bodies and wahhh wahhh wahhh.

...spare no expense or effort in trying to impress his Valentine’s Day date. By taking her to Ruby Tuesday. And by trying to impress the server. At Ruby Tuesday.

I think we can assume that “DO YOU KNOW WHO THE FUCK I AM?” guy sells monogrammed thermoses. After all, people who sell monogrammed thermoses are very important.

I think we’re all going to have to suggest who the New Orleans guy, in fact, was.

NEVER. EVER. FUCK. WITH. THE. DELIVERY. DRIVER.

Every dine and dasher I ever personally saw was a young white person. Every one. Just saying.

I know when I was working at a restaurant, the customers I always kept the closest eye on were young white men (like 16-24 age range). There were like 5 dine and dashes while I was on shift and saw the people involved, and every single one of them fit that demographic (well, one had like 2 young women and 4 young men).

Where I work, there’s a pre-pay policy in place for all customers during certain times at night. Sadly it was put into place after several dine and dashes during that time. It’s a blanket policy though, not specifically targeted at certain groups of people.

Jesus can I get him to deliver that duck leg salad to Seattle? I need it for the mouth part of my face.

If dude could bench 600, he could have picked her up in her desk and carried the whole thing out.

Knowing all the things and deaths that will take place, my heart literally shrivels up into a year old raisin.

To be honest, I’ve spent so much of my life angry at the basic injustices inherent to both this country and the human condition that I think I’ve transmogrified that feeling into something akin to a fuel source.

This is an excellent question, and I’m in the process of getting an answer to it. I’ll update the post when I do.

What’s the time period over which the wage violations happened? That amount spread over 10 years’ worth of violation would be tragic yet something I could grasp. If that was just one year, holy shit, are we sure anyone got paid at all?

I was a lifeguard/swim instructor for a few years before university, and I amazingly don’t have many stories about parents just abandoning their kids for lengthy periods of time. Though, to be fair, we would have called the cops immediately if anybody had left their young ones alone (the corporate policy had an age…

Exactly. There really is an issue of age-appropriateness. When I was ten, if my mom needed to do some terribly boring thing (say, shopping for a bra), she would let me go to Waldenbooks by myself, because I would just find a chair and read until someone came to get me, and I was old enough to find her or get an adult…