I don't get the whole 'tap instead of machine' logic. Like, I understand that most bottled water is simply gussied up tap water, but tap vs. machine water is LITERALLY the same goddamn water. Its all coming out of the same pipes! Do these people think there is some sort of special plumbing that carries in water…

I have to say, as the person who created that face you’re using as an icon, you have fantastic taste :D

Man, try working at a coffee shop. I don’t know how many people I’d get who’d want their milk steamed to “EXACTLY 163.5 degrees!”

Maybe because some idiot began circulating the idea that drinking cold water while eating = cancer. http://www.snopes.com/medical/myths/…

I mean, there are people willing to vote for Ben Carson, so.

CONSTANT VIGILANCE!

Each restaurant will have a policy about if you have to go by the tip amount or the total amount. I forget what, but having the math done wrong on a tab is probably a daily thing. Having someone call and ask about it or write a letter certainly is not.

My real question is whether Allergen Idiots are actually stupid (like, too dumb to know that nuts or nuts), or just jerks (lying about/exaggerating allergies for some lame-ass reason, be it picky eating or imaginary self-diagnosis or just liking the attention). Since I haven’t yet seen a story that goes “The customer…

After adjusting the temperature of their water twice

The ingenious waitress’ name has been lost to history, but the Legend of The Waitress With The World’s Driest Sense Of Humor is still whispered to this very day.

The Reuben one reminded me of a story Terry Pratchett told. He said that one jet-lagged evening he accidently asked for Three Mile Island dressing for his salad. The waitress didn’t say a word, just brought him Thousand Island dressing and a bottle of hot sauce.

So, you’re saying the guy in Matt Porter’s story did *not* save bread, then?

I worked in the mountains for a while. A number of our summer season customers asked if the patches of white stuff on the higher parts of the mountains was sand.

When every non-human thing in your country is trying to kill you, your joie de vivre goes up to 11.

So your full name is Colin Pinkham? How was Downton Abbey? Since you evaded Lady Mary’s homicidal charms and returned in one piece I’m sure you have tales to tell.

I’m Mr Werkmeister

HE’S THE ONLY FUCKING PERSON WHO PRONOUNCES IT THAT WAY, NO IT ISN’T LEGIT.

I am very fucking sorry you feel that way.

If you look at the comments, it actually is Daniella Lanio, a model. So dude was stealing pictures of a model and pretending they were his girlfriend. SEEMS LIKE A CATCH AMIRITE LADEEZ