Hearing this, I begin to believe that they appeared on the program as part of some longer term “crisis management” strategy. I think Jill and Jessa were on the cover of People last week, which would tie into a pitch for a spin-off show.

Average Everyday Joe Sixpack America

My understanding is that while the school is affiliated with the Catholic Church, the school has been able to kind of...fly under the radar? It’s my guess that because the school has been so progressive and liberal and forward thinking for so long, people kinda sorta forgot that it was still a Catholic institution and…

There’s a storm about these issues brewing in Portland , Oregon as we speak. A highly rated Catholic high school (one that has a sterling reputation for social justice, in an ironic twist) hired a woman and then rescinded her job offer when she told them she was gay. They offered her a year’s salary to stay quiet…

There’s a symmetry to these morons digging through piles of trash, wallowing in the garbage heap where all their ideas belong.

This is such a tragic situation for her. It’s so easy, from an outsiders perspective, to say “just leave” or “get away as fast as you can,” but even if she wanted to leave (and I have no trouble believing that the religious indoctrination Anna has received since birth will prevent her from doing so) being a single mom…

she wanted a female doctor.

I doubt she’s denying everyone who shows up wearing a poly-cotton blend a marriage license. Or anyone who’s ever played football.

It was ABSOLUTELY code for that.

I’ve had to explain ‘that’s...not how it works’ to an extraordinary number of people. All of whom are surprised by the information that, by and large, all the server does is rant about the lack of tip and/or note while making their roll-ups and then goes home and has a bourbon. People. Why are you like that??

It’s the note thing I don’t understand. Like, if you’re going to be a classless human-shaped jerkwad, just do it in silence. If you’re not going to tip, just walk away. There’s no need for “feedback” like this. You’re unhappy, you shared the misery, your work here is done.

“Regarding reference to Lush making a profit from this product, it is sold online and in only one of our 933 shops worldwide.”

RIGHT? Expo just shook their heads when we’d get one of those ordered, because that pizza was filled with nope for most people. And then corporate took it off the menu (because of how nope filled it was) and people still bitched. YOU DIDN’T EVEN LIKE IT, CUSTOMERS.

OMG you’re so my favorite right now.

Now that we’ve covered the sort of news story that seems most appropriate for “Sick, Sad World,”

WHY DO YOU HAVE TO KILL MY DREAMS?!

Oh yes. People throw it out to end the “debate” about tipping. “Well, tips means to insure prompt service...” and I get to say “if that were true it would be ‘ensure’ not ‘insure’” and then begins the baffled silence.

I love the expression on various faces when I point out that if that pool shift acronym were a real thing, it would be T.E.P.S.

California Pizza Kitchen. Know these things, and tremble.

Do these people think that’s a teaching moment? Like “oh, I’ll show you, server person, with this super unnecessary comment on the check”? Because all it teaches me, folks, is that the world would be better off if you were eaten by dragons.