“All taxation is theft! It’s MY property!”

I would argue that tipping is not charity, though.

In other news, I got in a fight in a Reformed Baptist discussion group about tracts vs. tips. It went better than it ooked, though - it basically turned into five peopel saying, “TIP WELL. DO NOT EAT OUT UNLESS YOU TIP WELL. IF YOU WANT TO LEAVE A TRACT, TIP MORE,” and one guy going, “But I wanna be selfish because…

We went to a hookah bar the other night and the diners next to us kept engulfing their table in a huge plume of white smoke. After a few white clouds dissipated, I looked over to them and noticed they had a newborn baby with them. And every time they blew out their smoke, the entire baby carrier just disappeared in…

We go to Ruby Tuesday’s fairly often as an after movie dinner place, and the idea of a guy acting like a wine expert there is hysterical, it’s like pretending to be a connoisseur of steak at Arby’s.

I miss when the comment section was just more crazy ass restaurant stories.

I’m looking forward to the first person shouting ASSAULT! because reasons.

Surely he’d recall his identity after just one look at his monogrammed thermos.

Man, you guys are making the absolute laziest Pinkham’s Law attempt I’ve ever seen with this argument. Come on. You can all do better.

My wife and I just call it TGI O’Chilibees.

Sadly, someone has already beaten you to the first Pinkham’s Law comment of the day, but you nearly nailed it, so you get an honourable mention.

I don’t know that it would’ve been “OK,” but they wouldn’t have been followed out of the restaurant in the first place had they left even a decent tip.

It’s called line-jumping, and it’s grounds for a beating at most amusement parks.

I love the idea that he wasn’t supposed to call the police on people about to endanger those around them.

Okay, guys. Not cool. CLEARLY the “Do you know who the fuck I am” guy had amnesia, and genuinely needed the help. Maybe he’s a secret double-agent from the Mars rebellion. Or maybe he’s just from a soap opera. But either way, that was clearly a cry for help, which would have led to a cool ‘80s sci-fi action movie.

“Hey babe, I’m taking you to your favorite! Ruby Tuesday’s!”

PEOPLE WHO INTERRUPT THE CASHIER WHO’S DEALING WITH SOMEONE ELSE, EVEN IF IT’S TO ASK A SIMPLE QUESTION, ARE GARBAGE PEOPLE AND SHOULD ALL FALL DOWN, REPEATEDLY!!!! (sorry, this Monday is having a case of the Mondays and I’m being a grumpy-face and that was something I HATED. I mean HATED!!!!!!!!!!!11!!!!!1!!!!one!!!…

It’s a tough one this week, I’m torn between the thrice-served steak & the closing-time soup lady, but am putting my money on the former, due to previous steak-related idiocy. NO, WAIT! Make that the margarita drunks! Fuck, I forgot about them!

The comments section after these revenge stories is always the best. So many Pinkam’s Law comments!