I'm with you. Do not talk to me unless necessary. I'll switch seats, unless it involves giving up my coveted window seat for some bullshit aisle or middle seat. I am strategic, I want the window sleep so that I can sleep and have even less of a reason to be talked at. Also, that's a ridiculous reaction for married…

Have you seen parking wars? I feel like this show is relevant to your interests. My favorite parts are the casual shots of the parking meter people walking around and people screaming fuck you at them randomly. Sometimes I miss living in Philly. Until I look at the weather forecast.

Jesus that's the cutest thing I've seen in ages. Thank you. I'm going to stare at it until I feel less ragey. LOOK AT HIS LITTLE FACE. NEXT TO THAT SCRAGGLY BEARD. This picture is all you would need to post to convince me getting married has its merits. We would be such a beautiful family. Sigh.

YES. Excellent use of your fortune. FUCK THE PPA!

That's a much better response than him calling you a crazy bitch. He almost sounds like a charming fellow. The bar is low.

I cannot even count the number of times it's happened to me. It is fucking annoying. I usually scowl worse and flip them off.

You've summed up my life to date very succinctly. Sigh.

WHY DO THEY THINK THE CLEAN BED WHERE WE SLEEP IS AN ACCEPTABLE PLACE FOR A WET TOWEL?? I DO NOT UNDERSTAND.

I have a good friend who won't drink anything but light cheap beer. One night I blindfolded him and made him drink shots of coors light or seltzer water. He could not tell me which was which. :/

Legally, it completely depends on the state you're in. In NJ for example, there is no 'rape' charge for anything. It all falls under the heading of sexual assault, with varying degrees (i.e. 1st degree sexual assault, 2nd degree, etc.). Other states do have seperate rape charges, some of which are poorly written (like…

Have these people heard of playpens? Jesus that's fucked up.

My neighbor used to say "Witch, listen. I got too many DUIs. I could either quit drinking or quit driving....so I quit driving." He was one of the worst behaved alcoholics I ever knew (including breaking into my apartment to talk to me about something, then telling me he was going to call the cops on me if I didn't…

THE GUMMY BEAR NEON FURRY VESTS!! OMG!! I love you for this.

I'd go full on Barney Stinson pre-nup with that witch. She can stay with us as long as she wants...provided she arrives in an urn.

And it never fails that when they show up in groups of 2-3, each new group wants to have all the specials recited and ask 1289043 questions that the last group already asked, while your other tables are glaring at the back of your head because they want another beer. Fuckers.

Same here. It's the only thing I can give them that doesn't trigger their massive skin allergies. I'm not fucking changing.

My FIL used that with his dogs before they went on prescription food. They really liked it. I haven't tried that one, but I know purina gives my dog hotspots (he's allergic to corn), but the Blue Buffalo lamb and brown rice does not. My other dog has mega food allergies, who even knows to what, but his whole body…

Not valar!

Tomoss. Like Thomas. GET IT?!

You have to draw the line somewhere, and if your line isn't drawn at arachnids, please tell me that when I first meet you so I can immediately run away screaming.